After a break up, you'll be dealing with a lot of emotions: anger, hurt, confusion, perhaps even jealousy. But if you want any hope of winning back your ex, you need to keep all of that stuff under control. Easier said than done, of course.

Are you up to it? Can you win back the one you love, or will you blow it forever with an embarrassing display of emotion that you'll regret forever?

Taking an Emotional Time Out

If you want to know how to win love back, the first thing you need to do is step back. Coping with a break up is undeniably a difficult thing to do - especially if it was your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, or lover who made the decision to end the relationship.

The thing is, though, you need to calm down and get away from it. Being in a volatile situation is likely to trigger strong emotions. And this will never help us in dealing with a break up or seeing things clearly enough to foster more positive thoughts, which will, in turn, help us discuss the issues in a more balanced way.

Is it Over for Good?

Giving yourself some distance will allow you to realise that getting back with your ex may be a real possibility. A large number of break ups are not long-lasting or permanent. More often than not, they're caused by common relationship problems that can be talked about.

The trick to talking about them, however, lies in not being too emotional. You've got to be in control of yourself. You can't let your feelings distort your ability to discuss things rationally and fairly.

Why? Why? Why?

Once you've got your emotions under control, you'll be in a better position for understanding a break up. The most important element in how to survive a break up is knowing what caused it and being able to accept that and look at it in a relatively clear and unemotional way.

That is, of course, super-difficult when the person you love has ended the relationship, but it is something you must do. You absolutely must get your emotions under control so that you can look at the situation more objectively if you ever have any hope of winning back your ex.

Sad Songs Say So Much

Well, Sir Elton John might have thought so, but after ending a long term relationship, the last thing you want to be doing is listening endlessly to heart-wrenching pop songs, reading sad poems, and sticking Missing You quotes on your refrigerator. Get it out of your system quickly and then move on to creating a positive mental attitude so that you can address the issue in a mature, level-headed, adult way and thereby win back your love.

You might like to talk to a relationship counselor, either individually or as a couple, or both. The first thing you need to do is get back to at least being friends after break up. Your partner might need to slow things down and create some space between you for whatever reason. Don't freak out and try to force the issue. Depending on what caused the break up, both of you might have some winning back trust to do.

How to Win Love Back

One of the best ways to win your ex back... or perhaps a better way to put it might be one of the worst ways of attempting to win back your ex is to allow your emotions to overpower your mouth and actions. In this case, you're sure to say and do stupid things in the mistaken belief that expressing everything you're feeling right now will somehow help. It won't. It'll only make things permanent.

Controlling your emotions is a great step in the sometimes slow process of winning back you ex, but it's a necessary one. Get this wrong and you'll lose your man or your gal for good. Who wants to spend time with an emotional wreck?