Why does he always avoid me when I love him this much? What is going on in his head? Why does he push me away anytime I try to get closer to him? When you deeply care about a guy and he keeps on distancing himself it can be confusing and equally frustrating.
It's easy to put the blame on men and conclude that they all do it and there is just no other way around it.
But is that really a fact? Is it always the man's fault for distancing himself? Well it might or might not be his fault.
But do you know what the real problem is? If a woman consistently has to deal with a man who keeps pulling away then it's something she is doing.
And the problem is that a lot of women do not understand how the male emotions work and on top of that they also do not know how to deal with them.
Here is some useful advice which will help you tackle this situation well...
Understand the male world first - You will always find yourself confused and misunderstood if you aren't aware of how men think and what drives them to do what they normally do.
It's really important to first understand the male world.
How men are - 1- Men need freedom even when they're in a relationship.
Anytime they feel trapped they immediately withdraw or pull away...
For example - - Asking him when he will commit to you.
- Blaming him for not opening up to you emotionally and sharing his true feelings.
- Trying to convince him or persuade him to love you.
- Consistently asking him why he doesn't love you the way you love him.
I am sure you get the picture here.
In the male world all this translates into being trapped.
How? Well look at it this way.
In his world commitment is a very big investment at the expense of his present luxuries.
And by luxury I mean his present lifestyle.
Men don't think they can be completely free when they have commitments towards someone.
When they have to choose between freedom and commitment they would most likely choose freedom.
So now you might say well there are men out there who get married and commit.
What about them? Well I never said men completely avoid commitment.
There are certain types of women men naturally feel attracted to and are willing to commit to.
Let's discuss this more in depth- 2.
Men feel naturally attracted to women who aren't threats to their sense of freedom, who aren't tryingto gain their acceptance; and women who are completely secure in their own skin...
Men choose to stay with a woman when she not only caters to their physical needs but emotional needs as well.
Men naturally feel attraction towards females who are...
- Completely confident about themselves and don't go around seeking approval from anyone.
- They are not needy in any way and don't depend on the guy to make them feel happy or satisfied.
- They never try to buy a guy's affection by doing special things.
They remain authentic.
- They always put their self-respect before everything else.
- They never try to force a guy into a relationship.
If the guy isn't ready they take a step back and leave the guy alone.
These are only a few qualities which are impressive to men.
And now let's get to the most important point - Men stay with women who completely understand how to deal with them on an emotional level - This is what it all really boils down to in the long run.
Women who manage to keep a guy attracted are the one's who understand how to deal with a man on an emotional level.
Here is an example - How would you deal with it if your boyfriend suddenly stops calling you and doesn't give you any reason for it? Most women would freak out and call the guy several times a day.
Do you think this will help? Well honestly speaking it will only make the situation worse.
Because when the guy stops calling a woman he is doing it for reasons which the woman might not understand at all.
So what's the best solution in this situation? A woman who understands men on an emotional level will handle it this way: Instead of calling the guy several times a day, she will only call him once and leave a message on his answering machine by saying something along the lines of - "John! I haven't heard from you for quite a few days now.
I hope everything is ok.
Anyway, I feel both of us need some space.
So I'll leave you alone for now.
" And then she will take a step back.
Freaking out and calling the man several times a day will only burden him giving him more reasons to avoid you.
But when you just leave him alone and take a step back, your absence will actually start to bother him and he will come back with a lot more eagerness.