Have you ever wanted to tell someone something so bad it made your heart want to explode? I have, but the problem lies in the person, for you see I cannot find her.
I know her name, yet still she is hidden from me.
She was the one who I have never stopped thinking about since the day I met her eighteen years ago.
She was the one I never kissed for my shyness held me so far back.
She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and to this day I still cannot imagine any more beautiful than she.
She has burned herself into my heart and mind for eternity, and although I cannot find her to tell her my secret, my heart still hurts.
I want her so badly, the feelings make me want to scream, yet what would I scream? And who would I scream for? I know she has another life now and has also probably long since forgotten about me.
I knew her for only a brief time, yet I still love her today, from the very instant I saw her.
Would she be the same? Would she be the one I remembered so long ago? Would she know me? Would I know her? Would she have anything for me? Or has she given her heart to someone else? I want her, to be near her, to kiss her, to hold her hand.
Am I just a romantic that will go through life with the pain of never knowing what true love could be? Is this my curse for not kissing the perfect creation, for not holding her hand? Oh that I might have just one wish in life that I might go back into time and kiss her perfect lips, and to taste her perfect tongue playing against mine, to hold her in my arms and call her the love of my life that I would keep for eternity.
I would make this wish amongst all other wishes that I might have in life of fame, fortune, power, or importance, oh that all I would live without just to have that one kiss.
That one kiss would be all I would need to let me die a happy man.
I would wrap my arms around her and kiss her, passionately, lovingly, strongly, and then I could die.
It has been said and heard so many times before t'is cliché to use it again, yet also still it will be used once again, "For t'is better to have loved and lossed, than to have never loved at all" but I would tear out my heart for not the beating of the blood I need to survive.
The pain of losing the one true love of mine so long ago has left me an empty shell, which cannot nor will not be filled with love again, even though I have made my sad and desperate attempts to try.
I have left myself open to storm my seas of pain for my treachery of letting her walk away, not kissing her.
I have sown so many fields of broken hearts t'is my curse to bear my heartache and pain, and for each heart I break my pain grows stronger.
Maybe it was predestined for me to not kiss her, for the gods knew I would break so many hearts after her, yet the gods never gave me a chance to kiss her, and I am sure I would have never broken a heart if I could have had her, for I would have never let her go.
Yet I blame this on gods of whom I do not believe, to try and blame anyone else but myself and mine own shyness that still mocks me today.
This is meant as a warning to all others who might find themselves in a position to kiss a girl.
Kiss her, and kiss her as madly as you can, for if you do not, she will haunt you forever.
E.
D.
D.
12/15/2009