Couples - Is Your Relationship Emotionally Safe?
Is your relationship emotionally safe? Can you depend on your partner when you need comfort, validation, or support? The primary purpose of your relationship is to create an emotionally safe place to express yourself authentically and to be heard, protected, and understood.
We all need to feel emotionally safe.
This need for attachment is like a powerful computer program always running in the background of our lives and "uninstall" is not an option.
Dumb Fights happen when the connection, that sense of closeness and understanding, falters.
In order to avoid the "dumb fights", partners need to be conscious of the quality of their connection and strive to be emotionally accessible and responsive to one another as much as is possible.
How safe does your connection with your partner feel, on average? Examine the following statements and answer them truthfully: 1) Do you and your partner have trouble understanding each others needs? 2) Are you afraid to be too needy or weak around your partner? 3) Does your partner accept your input and influence easily? 4) Can you be open and vulnerable around your partner? 5) Do you share almost everything with your partner? 6) Do you worry that your partner will tire of you and find someone better? 7) Does it feel natural to turn to your partner for comfort? 8) Do you ever feel inadequate or judged by your partner? 9) Is your partner usually available, "emotionally," when you need them? 10) Do you feel entitled to expect a certain amount of attention and soothing? 11) Do you like the way the two of you talk about your differences? 12) Do you ever tell yourself that it is easier to just take care of things yourself? 13) Do you feel like your partner is your best friend? 14) Do you sometimes question whether your partner is telling you the truth? 15) Do you believe that your partner knows how to soothe you? Most of us struggle with a very low sense of entitlement in our relationships.
We live in a society that places a great deal of emphasis on autonomy over interdependence, so we feel funny expressing "need".
We wonder, "Am I too much "something"" or "Am I not enough "something.
" Low entitlement will translate into repressed desires, superhuman mental telepathy, and poor communication.
Dumb fights will break out because of unregulated frustration due to repressed resentment.
Learning how to regulate your anxiety and reveal your needs for protection, soothing, and validation will go a long way towards restoring "bliss" when you are both feeling "pissed.
"
We all need to feel emotionally safe.
This need for attachment is like a powerful computer program always running in the background of our lives and "uninstall" is not an option.
Dumb Fights happen when the connection, that sense of closeness and understanding, falters.
In order to avoid the "dumb fights", partners need to be conscious of the quality of their connection and strive to be emotionally accessible and responsive to one another as much as is possible.
How safe does your connection with your partner feel, on average? Examine the following statements and answer them truthfully: 1) Do you and your partner have trouble understanding each others needs? 2) Are you afraid to be too needy or weak around your partner? 3) Does your partner accept your input and influence easily? 4) Can you be open and vulnerable around your partner? 5) Do you share almost everything with your partner? 6) Do you worry that your partner will tire of you and find someone better? 7) Does it feel natural to turn to your partner for comfort? 8) Do you ever feel inadequate or judged by your partner? 9) Is your partner usually available, "emotionally," when you need them? 10) Do you feel entitled to expect a certain amount of attention and soothing? 11) Do you like the way the two of you talk about your differences? 12) Do you ever tell yourself that it is easier to just take care of things yourself? 13) Do you feel like your partner is your best friend? 14) Do you sometimes question whether your partner is telling you the truth? 15) Do you believe that your partner knows how to soothe you? Most of us struggle with a very low sense of entitlement in our relationships.
We live in a society that places a great deal of emphasis on autonomy over interdependence, so we feel funny expressing "need".
We wonder, "Am I too much "something"" or "Am I not enough "something.
" Low entitlement will translate into repressed desires, superhuman mental telepathy, and poor communication.
Dumb fights will break out because of unregulated frustration due to repressed resentment.
Learning how to regulate your anxiety and reveal your needs for protection, soothing, and validation will go a long way towards restoring "bliss" when you are both feeling "pissed.
"
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