The secret of success in how to get people to agree with you lies in how you approach and talk to them.
There are some simple techniques you can learn, some based on the psychologically well respected method of neurolinguistic programming.
You can use these techniques to get people to agree with you, whether that is in negotiating a pay rise, selling your house or in any other situation where you need to get people on your side.
Bear in mind it is advisable to use these techniques with integrity.
You can do this by ensuring the other person is happy to agree with you after you steer them in that direction.
Using these techniques without compassion and a genuine concern for others is not only of dubious moral intent but also a recipe for a subsequent backlash when the other person feels forced into doing what they didn`t completely agree with.
To sum up, use these techniques with compassion for others and you can quickly reach agreements that are good for you AND good for the other person.
Let`s explore the first technique now...
Anchoring This neurolinguistic programming method is about laying the groundwork for getting people to agree with you.
First, ask the person you want to agree with you a few closed questions that require a yes or no answer.
Make sure you include some questions where they need to answer no, too.
When they give you a 'yes' answer, reward them with a warm smile.
Also, make some kind of subtle gesture; it doesn't matter what the gesture is; it can be something as touching your chin with your finger.
Alternatively, when you get a 'no' answer, do not smile; retain a serious look and give a different gesture which cannot be mistaken for the other gesture you give for 'yes' answers.
This will have anchored the positive and negative responses in your audience's mind.
Now you are ready to ask the important question to which you want a 'yes' answer.
As you ask, use the gesture you used for 'yes' answers.
This should have resonance in the subconscious mind of the person of whom you are asking the question and they should be pre-programmed to say 'yes'.
Presuppositions These are a very powerful aspect of neurolinguistic programming.
Presuppositions involve you presupposing what an outcome will be as if it was a foregone conclusion.
Phrases like 'before we sign on the deal, would you care for a drink?' are really useful.
It presents a choice, although the two aspects of the apparent choice are not in any way linked.
You are steering them in the right direction for what you want.
Of course, you will need to make the supposition of the contract being signed more than once in the conversation.
But once you have done this a few times, so long as you don't scare the other person off by being too blatant, their subconscious mind will accept that they have reached that conclusion you seek.
It will seem like it is what you both wanted all along.
There are a few different presuppositions that you can use: Ors "Do you want to go for a drink or for dinner on Saturday" presupposes that you will indeed be going out on Saturday, as you wanted to.
Numeric Indicators "Do you want to go to the gallery first or to the studio?" presupposes that you will be going to both places without sounding too pushy.
Timed suppositions Here, words such as 'now', 'after' and 'then' etc.
are used.
So, you could say "Would you like me to give you my number now or when we leave?" Either way, they're getting your number! Time can be twisted too, so that your presuppositions are more subtle when they need them to be.
So, for instance, you could ask, "Should we finish our drinks here or out on the balcony?" That shows the presupposition that the other person will want to remain in your company.
These should be all the neurolinguistic programming techniques with which you need to familiarise yourself in order to get people to agree with you.
Presuppositions are powerful tools that can be used with subtlety to reach agreement easily with someone.
They are particularly effective if you have set the scene with some anchoring, too.