One of the very last things anyone ever wants to hear is that their spouse has been cheating on them.
But, sometimes it simply must be said, and living in denial certainly isn't healthy, so recognizing the signs of cheating in your marriage is rather important, especially if you have any doubts about your spouse's fidelity or their current behavior.
However, before making any empty accusations and running the risk of damaging your relationship, do take ample time to follow up on your instincts to find out if they are indeed correct before acting blindly.
There are two very good reasons for this, the first, as we just mentioned, is avoiding causing problems in the marriage unnecessarily if your spouse is in fact innocent, but the second reason is to protect yourself in the event they are actually cheating, as letting them know you're "on to them" will simply allow them to cover their tracks better in the future.
Besides the most common signs of cheating in a marriage such as changes in sexual interest and intimacy, unaccountable absences, or excessive usage of the internet or phone, here are four others you should recognize if you're in a marriage where infidelity may be a possibility.
- Leaving, or Arriving From Work at Odd Times: Depending on your spouse's profession, you should be able to have a general idea as to when they should be leaving and arriving back home at the end of their day.
Also, most places of business will have a phone number they can be reached at if they are indeed working late.
While you certainly don't want to make a pest of yourself, or cause undue problems for your mate, if noticeable changes have been made in their work habits there's no harm in calling when they're supposed to be there working.
- Physical Evidence: This sign of cheating in the marriage is hard to ignore, but you may be surprised at the number of people who do every single day living in complete denial as facing the betrayal is too painful.
But, allowing the evidence to pile up while sitting by blindly doing nothing certainly isn't protecting or helping yourself for the future.
Confront your spouse with what you've found and demand the truth, then, using your own best judgment, not your heart, you must figure out if they're being honest and if their explanation is plausible.
- Taking Frequent Business Trips "Alone": Much like a change in work hours, if your spouse is suddenly taking business trips and you're never invited but may have been in the past, it's time to ask why.
Partners often aren't welcome on company related business trips, but again, this should be something that as a spouse you would already know the policy for and whether or not you were welcome before.
- Unexplained Credit Card Charges or Bills: Men, in particular, often buy gifts for their mistresses, and women may charge or buy things such as new clothes or lingerie.
If you have suspicions that your spouse is cheating, take a closer look at your credit card bills and bank statements and point out anything that may seem odd.
If your name is also on the account, call the company and ask for more information if there isn't an identifiable source listed on a certain charge.