Consider Love As A Calling - Buy Your Life Partners With Love - Not With Money
There are often times when a woman would think that asking her partner to pay only a pittance as a marriage gift would belittle her in the eyes of her peers - or make her look cheap. An expensive marriage gift should not impede true lovers who are already on top of the Love Mountain and frantically preparing to tie the knot. When and if an expensive gift is imposed upon a man who aspires to marry his lover, and even if he manages to pay this amount, he might from time to time look at his wife scornfully - as if she had kidnapped him. As if she had been bought with money - not with love.
As soon as the man begins to think this way about his lover, his love for her begins to wane until such a time that, a small misunderstanding between them leads to a "whole roomful of horrors" - like burning his lover's face with acid, or even killing her. The less severe case of these horrors might just be a summary divorce. The reason would have been that the heavy financial burden imposed upon him did effectively replace his love for his partner. To be sure, some acts of lovers toward each other are explainable only through an examination of the concomitant circumstances.
It's therefore, unfortunate that, despite the above reasons for not imposing expensive marriage gifts or weddings on men, some individual families in the Middle East are still adamant. If all families imposed affordable marriage gifts there would not have been hatred, insults and even divorce in our homes. The true meaning of love has been lost among those Muslims who have been adamant with regards to the imposition of expensive weddings and marriage gifts for their daughters.
All controversies regarding the marriage gift would have been avoided if Muslims adhered to the clear teachings of the Messenger of God - Muhammad (peace be upon him). They seem to have forgotten what the Prophet of Mercy and Affection had said regarding expensive weddings: " Surely, the marriage with the greatest blessing is that (marriage) whose provisions are less burdensome. And in another occasion the Prophet said: " The best women of my Ummah (community) are those whose marriage gifts are the less expensive, and those with the most graceful countenances," (Sabiq, Fiqh Al Sunnah, 138).
By aiming to make love the bedrock of every marriage, Islam has made marriages less burdensome on lovers. The aim of Islam is to ensure that the feeling of affection and tenderness between lovers is not compromised due to expensive weddings and marriage gifts.
References:
Sabiq, Al Sayyid. Fiqh Al Sunnah, Vol. 2. Beirut: Dar al Fikr, 1983.
As soon as the man begins to think this way about his lover, his love for her begins to wane until such a time that, a small misunderstanding between them leads to a "whole roomful of horrors" - like burning his lover's face with acid, or even killing her. The less severe case of these horrors might just be a summary divorce. The reason would have been that the heavy financial burden imposed upon him did effectively replace his love for his partner. To be sure, some acts of lovers toward each other are explainable only through an examination of the concomitant circumstances.
It's therefore, unfortunate that, despite the above reasons for not imposing expensive marriage gifts or weddings on men, some individual families in the Middle East are still adamant. If all families imposed affordable marriage gifts there would not have been hatred, insults and even divorce in our homes. The true meaning of love has been lost among those Muslims who have been adamant with regards to the imposition of expensive weddings and marriage gifts for their daughters.
All controversies regarding the marriage gift would have been avoided if Muslims adhered to the clear teachings of the Messenger of God - Muhammad (peace be upon him). They seem to have forgotten what the Prophet of Mercy and Affection had said regarding expensive weddings: " Surely, the marriage with the greatest blessing is that (marriage) whose provisions are less burdensome. And in another occasion the Prophet said: " The best women of my Ummah (community) are those whose marriage gifts are the less expensive, and those with the most graceful countenances," (Sabiq, Fiqh Al Sunnah, 138).
By aiming to make love the bedrock of every marriage, Islam has made marriages less burdensome on lovers. The aim of Islam is to ensure that the feeling of affection and tenderness between lovers is not compromised due to expensive weddings and marriage gifts.
References:
Sabiq, Al Sayyid. Fiqh Al Sunnah, Vol. 2. Beirut: Dar al Fikr, 1983.
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