Divorce is a tough challenge especially to the children of divorcing parents. Everyone needs to adjust to new visitation schedules and new living arrangements. Ease your child's transition by learning how to deal with his or her reactions through the developmental stages. Children react differently depending on parental attachment and maturity.

Infants (Birth to 18 months)
Trust vs. Mistrust

All children go through the normal psychosocial stages of development. Infants develop a sense of trust from their parents. During this developmental stage, the young infant has no idea of what's happening. When the parent fails to comfort or provide the needs of the infant, this can significantly impact the child's growth and psychosocial development in the future. Be consistent in being emotionally available to successfully develop trust. Provide care and affection by frequently cuddling or hugging the baby. Make sure that feeding patterns aren't altered. The home should be the best place for your child to grow healthy and strong.

Toddler (2 to 3 years)
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

Likewise, toddlers at this age don't understand what marriage is or the divorce. A young toddler reacts to the situation after the divorce or soon after the new set-up is implemented at home. Or else, s/he becomes aware that the parents are arguing although his/her cognitive skills are not fully developed nor they are able to express out in words what they feel or understand about the situation.

Ensure that the child performs physical skills and develop sense of independence without disrupting the child's development with chaotic emotional patterns. Regression is common sign of distress shown in altered sleep patterns and behavior. A toddler may suddenly seek a pacifier or suck his or her thumb. As parents, see to it to maintain regular routines but be ready to alter the scheduled visits whenever necessary. Allow the noncustodial parent to visit your child 2 to 3 times a week. Also, keep in touch via phone calls to speak with the toddler whenever necessary.

Changes can lead to detachment which may alter the will of the child independently especially in toilet training. Focus in guiding your children to develop their sense of self-control. Don't let them rule. Set limits but reassure the child of your love. Slowly, set rules and let them understand that they are expected to abide with them. Children who can successfully overcome shame grow more confident and secure.

The Preschoolers (3 to 5 years)
Initiative vs. Guilt

The developmental conflict at this stage is guilt. The preschooler believes that he is the cause of the parties' separation. He or she may feel fear of abandonment and wish that someday his parents may decide to stay together again. A child may express resentment with statements like, €Dad left us because I'm naughty€ or €Dad didn't come home because he doesn't love me€. Like toddlers, a preschooler may also regress to earlier developmental milestone showing temper tantrums or becoming controlling.

Parents should establish predictable routines. Encourage your children to read books and play with friends. Social interaction is very important at this stage. Your presence is crucial in special events such as birthdays, family day and school play. You may also like to inform the day care providers about the divorce to inform you of any signs of distress and ask to help your child cope with the situation.