I know you think your world has ended because you are divorced, but believe me, it may be the beginning of a brand new life.
Being divorced is not the end of the world.
We all think when we get married that it will be forever and when that doesn't materialize we fall into a heap on the floor and ask "Why? Why?" Asking why is part of the beginning of your grief process.
Yep, GRIEF! Bet you never thought that divorce causes you to grieve, but it does.
Think about it a while, You will grieve the loss of your so-called beloved.
You will grieve the loss of your future together.
You will grieve the loss of your home environment as you know it.
You will grieve the loss of some of your friends.
You will grieve the loss of your lifestyle.
And you will even grieve the loss of your pet if it went along with the leaver.
You may even have to go back to work if you can't make it financially, alone.
More grief! YOU NEED DIVORCE CARE.
Things you can do to care for yourself.
1.
Recognizing that the leaver did not really love you the way you loved them, is hard.
It hurts.
It can cause you to doubt your own self-worth.
You may begin to feel you will never be loved again.
Self-recrimination is common at first, but eventually you will wake up and become ANGRY! Angry at the changes you have been forced to endure because of "the jerk.
" 2.
Go through the anger let it make you strong, help you to realize that you really are a great person and they are the loser.
Do not let the anger move into physical retaliation like damaging your Ex's property.
You will drop to their level and hate yourself in the morning.
3.
Write in a journal all of the feelings and thoughts you are experiencing, similar to letting the steam out of a pressure cooker.
This will keep you from "exploding.
"Introduce yourself to God as your new best friend...
I learned to write letters in my journal to my God.
I told Him everything that came into my mind, feeling assured that He would forgive whatever anger I expressed in it.
After all, He gave us the emotion called anger.
He understands, He forgives and He loves us anyway.
4.
On a separate page, you can make a running list of all the great things about you as a person.
If you have a little trouble at first, be patient, you will eventually begin adding new qualities that you forgot about.
The purpose of this is to teach you how to appreciate who and what you really are.
Most likely, your self-image has been badly damaged.
This is the beginning of changing that.
5.
Watch your mental language.
Thinking negative thoughts can create negative realities.
Mentally slap your mouth when that happens.
Change it to a positive thought, even if you do not believe it right now.
You will.
6.
Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You are a good person and you will rise above this!" Tape a not on the mirror written to yourself, saying something like: You are a good person and you deserve a great life.
It is beginning NOW! 7.
Join a Support Group for divorced people and make friends of the same sex.
Make it someone who you can talk with about your situation and feel as if they understand.
Opposite sex friendships are not a good thing right now.
You need time to heal if you are to give a whole person to your new friend.
You are still broken right now.
If you lost your pet, get a new one.
Pets are excellent listeners.
Divorce is a difficult road to travel, but sharing your feelings with a friend or a support group can be a blessing.
When 52% of marriages today fail, you are not alone.
Chances are your sharing will be a benefit to the persons you share with.