There are few things more devastating for a family or a group of friends than knowing someone they love is behind bars - but knowing that person is innocent makes it so much harder to bear. You're probably not a lawyer, a judge or a police officer, and even if you are, you're too close to the person to play any role in his arrest, defense and sentencing. So you probably feel helpless. Maybe that person was your spouse and you relied on his income to support your family. Maybe you're tired of all the questions and comments from acquaintances who don't fully understand. You're not the first person to feel overwhelmed by this situation, and you're not alone.

You might feel like you can't do much, but you can do some things. You could prove instrumental to your loved one's €not guilty€ verdict or overturning his €guilty€ verdict - if you get the right professionals on your side. And in the meantime, you have to pay attention to your needs in the wake of your loved one's incarceration, both tangible and intangible. The most supportive friends and family will remain on your side, and you can learn to cope without or even despite those who aren't as supportive.

Consult a Criminal Defense Lawyer

The right attorney makes a huge difference in the fate of your loved one. You need someone who believes in your loved one's case and knows how to poke holes in the prosecution. Your first step while your loved one is behind bars is to consult a successful criminal defense lawyer. From the very first consultation, you'll feel more at ease. Having a €game plan€ and knowing you've done what you can to set your loved one free - and that's to find the right professional to handle it - will help you feel like you have more control over an otherwise hard-to-control situation.

Meet With a Therapist

It's stressful for your loved one being in jail, but it's stressful for you, too. To properly cope with your feelings about the situation, find a therapist. There are a number of community centers and houses of worship that offer free or discounted therapy if you can't afford to meet with one through your doctor's office. You don't have to have consistent issues with anxiety, depression or other mental illnesses to benefit from therapy; many therapists counsel patients on traumatic experiences, and this one qualifies.

Keep Quiet to a Point

Get out all of your feelings to a therapist, but don't talk about the situation publicly. During an investigation, authorities will want to know everything you know that could be used as evidence, and it doesn't help to have people provide hearsay as to what you might have said. Get all of your feeling out to your therapist. When it comes to the people you love and trust the most, let them know you're struggling. Let them know you feel anxious, depressed and worried about the future. Ask for their support and don't let them pry any details out of you.

Anyone who asks questions or isn't supportive isn't someone you need at your side right now. When friends and family ask what they can do for you, ask for help in getting your life back on track, whether that means offering to watch your children when you're at work or coming over to eat dinner so you're not alone.

You might not get a €not guilty€ verdict for your loved one today or tomorrow. But you can take one day at a time and address your feelings today. Everything you do to get yourself in a position where you feel calm and confident will help your loved one and you cope with this situation.