Warning -- These Websites Can Ruin Your Life
Updated June 28, 2015.
Online dating might seem like a harmless way to meet new potential partners. However, not all sites are of equal quality, and not all of them are set up with the same intentions.
Read Looking for a Date Online? Know the Differences Between the Types of Internet Dating Out There
For people who have any type of sex addiction, particularly cybersex addiction, the following types of website can be downright harmful to site users and their partners. Some of them can potentially ruin your life.
The risks associated with infidelity-based sites -- dating sites specifically designed to help married people to cheat on their partners -- should be obvious. But in case you need it spelling out, don’t expect anyone you meet this way to be trustworthy, and don’t be surprised if they want more than sex, and threaten to tell your spouse about your liaison if you don't want to give it to them. There is a good likelihood that the person you meet is engaged in sex work, and even if they aren’t, don’t expect fidelity from them.
You might want to consider couples counseling before embarking on an affair, online or otherwise. And if you have already had multiple affairs, you may need help for sex addiction.
If you have suspicions that your spouse has been cheating online, check out my five clues of an online affair.
If you have found out your spouse has been visiting an infidelity-based site, you might be wondering why did my cheating spouse have an online affair?
Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism or BDSM is a well established sexual minority focused on the sexual enjoyment of bullying or being bullied, often in a highly ritualistic way. With the recent popularity of the movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, many otherwise straight-laced people have become curious in dabbling in BDSM. While BDSM advocates claim that these activities are part of a rich and enjoyable fanstasy between consenting adults, and therefore harmless, there is a strong overlap with sexual assault and various forms of sexual abuse. Furthermore, consent in these circumstances can be hard to ascertain or prove in court.
Meeting a BDSM partner online carries rather high risks of assault and blackmail, and if you do so, I encourage you to keep a trusted friend informed of where you are and whom you are with. Although discomfort and vulnerability may be part of the appeal of a BDSM liaison, do not allow yourself to be pressurized into activities that are unsafe or that you do not want to do, and do not hesitate to leave a situation that is no longer enjoyable.
Pain exchange is one of Carnes ten types of sex addiction, and if you feel that BDSM is the only way you can enjoy sexual interactions, you may benefit from professional help. Talk to your doctor for more information.
Any type of interactive website can potentially be used for illicit activities, the most well-known being child sexual abuse and drug dealing. The risks of engaging in these activities online is extremely high, and is getting more risky all the time, as there is greater and greater policing of the internet. If you feel any temptation to access child pornography or engage in child abuse, get help immediately by contacting SASH.
If you inadvertently find yourself visiting a website whose users are engaging in illicit activities, you would be wise to leave the site and delete it from your history, to avoid accidentally visiting it again. But be aware that it is possible that if your computer is seized, your online activity can be tracked, even if you have deleted it.
Online dating might seem like a harmless way to meet new potential partners. However, not all sites are of equal quality, and not all of them are set up with the same intentions.
Read Looking for a Date Online? Know the Differences Between the Types of Internet Dating Out There
For people who have any type of sex addiction, particularly cybersex addiction, the following types of website can be downright harmful to site users and their partners. Some of them can potentially ruin your life.
1. Infidelity-Based Sites
The risks associated with infidelity-based sites -- dating sites specifically designed to help married people to cheat on their partners -- should be obvious. But in case you need it spelling out, don’t expect anyone you meet this way to be trustworthy, and don’t be surprised if they want more than sex, and threaten to tell your spouse about your liaison if you don't want to give it to them. There is a good likelihood that the person you meet is engaged in sex work, and even if they aren’t, don’t expect fidelity from them.
You might want to consider couples counseling before embarking on an affair, online or otherwise. And if you have already had multiple affairs, you may need help for sex addiction.
If you have suspicions that your spouse has been cheating online, check out my five clues of an online affair.
If you have found out your spouse has been visiting an infidelity-based site, you might be wondering why did my cheating spouse have an online affair?
2. BDSM Dating Sites
Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism or BDSM is a well established sexual minority focused on the sexual enjoyment of bullying or being bullied, often in a highly ritualistic way. With the recent popularity of the movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, many otherwise straight-laced people have become curious in dabbling in BDSM. While BDSM advocates claim that these activities are part of a rich and enjoyable fanstasy between consenting adults, and therefore harmless, there is a strong overlap with sexual assault and various forms of sexual abuse. Furthermore, consent in these circumstances can be hard to ascertain or prove in court.
Meeting a BDSM partner online carries rather high risks of assault and blackmail, and if you do so, I encourage you to keep a trusted friend informed of where you are and whom you are with. Although discomfort and vulnerability may be part of the appeal of a BDSM liaison, do not allow yourself to be pressurized into activities that are unsafe or that you do not want to do, and do not hesitate to leave a situation that is no longer enjoyable.
Pain exchange is one of Carnes ten types of sex addiction, and if you feel that BDSM is the only way you can enjoy sexual interactions, you may benefit from professional help. Talk to your doctor for more information.
3. Illicit Activities
Any type of interactive website can potentially be used for illicit activities, the most well-known being child sexual abuse and drug dealing. The risks of engaging in these activities online is extremely high, and is getting more risky all the time, as there is greater and greater policing of the internet. If you feel any temptation to access child pornography or engage in child abuse, get help immediately by contacting SASH.
If you inadvertently find yourself visiting a website whose users are engaging in illicit activities, you would be wise to leave the site and delete it from your history, to avoid accidentally visiting it again. But be aware that it is possible that if your computer is seized, your online activity can be tracked, even if you have deleted it.
It's Not Worth the Risk
While many people visit harmful websites because they are curious, and think they are visiting anonymously with the intentions of simply being a voyeur, visiting these websites raises the risk that you will become drawn into a world you are better off not being a part of.It simply isn't worth the risk.
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