Most couples who are going through divorce proceedings will have one other thing to settle aside from their separation - child custody.
A lot of worries are also expected, especially by those who are going through the process for the first time.
Those who have been through a similar set of experiences from a past marriage may not feel the pressure all that much.
But for someone who is divorcing for the first time and trying to settle the issue of child custody, this can be a worrisome experience.
If you find yourself in this picture, you may be anxious about the mere thought of your children not living with you or, worse, having them live with your soon-to-be ex who may be completely unfit to do parenting roles - at least, in your most honest opinion.
To help ease your worries and clear the clouds in your head, read on and know what to expect.
There are two types of arrangements that are possible when parents vie for custody of their children - through an alternative dispute resolution technique or a family court judge ruling.
The objective of an ADR is to resolve the issue of children going with which parent, usually through a mediator, lawyers and mediators What comes out of the mediation is an out-of-court settlement where the parents decide between themselves where the children live or if they are to live alternately between the homes of each parent, if the children live with one parent and the other will have visitation rights, the schedule of visits, etc.
When it is possible to arrive at an agreement without needing a court order, parents can make do with an ADR.
When parents fail to agree between themselves, even with the presence of a mediator, a court judge will make a child custody ruling always.
This will come as a court order and will, thus, have to be followed by the parents lest they face legal sanctions.
When a judge decides whichparent has custody of the children, a number factors will be involved, including the best interest of the kids, their own preference, and which parent is fitter to take on parenting roles with a higher degree of responsibility.
One advantage of an ADR is flexibility.
Although there are guidelines governing this type of arrangement, the parents can randomly agree between themselves when they need to bend some rules from time to time.
But because there is no clear definition of who actually has custody of the child, the disadvantage is when one parent demands too much from the other in terms of visitation rights and similar issues.
In a child custody court ruling, custody is explicitly stated and legal sanctions await any parent who does not conform to the court order's provisions.