What is Love? What"s the Difference Between a Crush, Falling in Love and Loving Someone?
Sometimes it's really useful to know what love really is in order to determine if those feelings we have for someone are worth keeping or if it's better to let them go.
The preface to everything is this: if you are with someone and you call what you have love, but this 'love' is hurting you, then it's not love.
Love does not hurt.
You may worry about someone, you may cry for someone's bad health or if your loved one is in crisis (so you may suffer in an empathetic way), but the other person does not hurt you psychologically, does not hurt you emotionally and, of course, does not hurt you physically.
But what about all those other 'feelings', the good ones, you may experience for someone? Are they signs of love? For the sake of clarity I will simplify the types of feelings you may experience: 1 - A crush - this is when you meet someone and, even if you know them very little or not at all, just by seeing them you feel elated, excited; you try and see their eyes, you stare at them hoping they'll look your way.
It's based on a simple physical attraction or a psychological trigger (for example if they behave in a certain way that you subconsciously associate with love or something desirable).
This crush is notbased on knowing this other person, it's just all from you.
It can turn into a strong infatuation but again, it's mostly based on what you feel when this person is near you because of simple attraction or psychological triggers.
It is notbased on who the other person is at all.
We may attribute great traits to the other person but we actually do not know anything about the other person, nothing 'deep' anyway.
2 - Falling in love and being in love - you are dating him/her (or you are friends) and you are getting to know him.
Yet, you still have those initial 'crush' feelings, you are still feeling elated, excited but these sensations are now also mixed with an overall sense of warmth; you are feeling happy most of the time because you feel appreciated, understood, cared for by someone who's 'inspiring' all those positive feelings of cheerfulness and happiness.
3 - Loving someone.
This is the third stage which, in the case of a romantic relationship, is also accompanied by stage 2.
You love someone when you really know them (inside out, everything and anything about them, especially their inner feelings, hopes and dreams as well as fears and pains) and you still want the best for them, you support them, you respect who they are and you like who they are.
Loving someone is to support them in their life goals and life dreams whilst providing emotional nourishment and comfort.
When you want them to fulfill who they are, to achieve their potential (as long as this is what they want as well!) whilst you are there to provide emotional comfort and emotional nourishment.
Of course, they do the same for you.
This is 'real' love.
The preface to everything is this: if you are with someone and you call what you have love, but this 'love' is hurting you, then it's not love.
Love does not hurt.
You may worry about someone, you may cry for someone's bad health or if your loved one is in crisis (so you may suffer in an empathetic way), but the other person does not hurt you psychologically, does not hurt you emotionally and, of course, does not hurt you physically.
But what about all those other 'feelings', the good ones, you may experience for someone? Are they signs of love? For the sake of clarity I will simplify the types of feelings you may experience: 1 - A crush - this is when you meet someone and, even if you know them very little or not at all, just by seeing them you feel elated, excited; you try and see their eyes, you stare at them hoping they'll look your way.
It's based on a simple physical attraction or a psychological trigger (for example if they behave in a certain way that you subconsciously associate with love or something desirable).
This crush is notbased on knowing this other person, it's just all from you.
It can turn into a strong infatuation but again, it's mostly based on what you feel when this person is near you because of simple attraction or psychological triggers.
It is notbased on who the other person is at all.
We may attribute great traits to the other person but we actually do not know anything about the other person, nothing 'deep' anyway.
2 - Falling in love and being in love - you are dating him/her (or you are friends) and you are getting to know him.
Yet, you still have those initial 'crush' feelings, you are still feeling elated, excited but these sensations are now also mixed with an overall sense of warmth; you are feeling happy most of the time because you feel appreciated, understood, cared for by someone who's 'inspiring' all those positive feelings of cheerfulness and happiness.
3 - Loving someone.
This is the third stage which, in the case of a romantic relationship, is also accompanied by stage 2.
You love someone when you really know them (inside out, everything and anything about them, especially their inner feelings, hopes and dreams as well as fears and pains) and you still want the best for them, you support them, you respect who they are and you like who they are.
Loving someone is to support them in their life goals and life dreams whilst providing emotional nourishment and comfort.
When you want them to fulfill who they are, to achieve their potential (as long as this is what they want as well!) whilst you are there to provide emotional comfort and emotional nourishment.
Of course, they do the same for you.
This is 'real' love.
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