John Edwards: When Values Misalign
Former U.S. Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards is back in a North Carolina court in defense of accusations that he violated campaign finance law by accepting donations to cover up his affair with Rielle Hunter and the birth of their child, Francis Quinn Hunter.
I'm not an attorney nor an expert on campaign financing. I'm not going to comment on the legalities of the case. What I address here is what happens when a person shows up in life out of alignment with what he or she values.
I believe John Edwards when he says he valued his role as a 'family man'. Yet he still violated that value when he entered into an intimate relationship outside of his marriage. While I don't condone his actions, I have compassion for him as a human being. Look within yourself. When have you turned your back on what you hold dear in exchange for a 'feel good' hit of some sort? We've all done it at one time or another.
Nothing good comes out of trending in values for validation. Whether its Tweeting inappropriate photos, participating in 'shady' get-rich quick schemes or trading your 'at home 40' for two hot 20s many of these acts are blind misguided attempts to fill an emotional void.
I'm not inside Edwards' head so I don't know what he was thinking at the time. What I do know in examining my own life and in working with my clients is when we disavow what matters most to us or allow our personal boundaries to be crossed we ultimately suffer - as Edwards is now.
He faces up to 30 years in jail if convicted. His political career is likely over regardless of the verdict. The emotional stress of a six week trial will likely take its toll on his health and well-being.
Like many who've exhibited 'what were you thinking!?!' behavior, Edwards may have sought to be acknowledged for what he felt was lacking within himself. In doing so he created a self-fulfilling prophecy by further distancing himself from the validation he so desperately craved.
Know this: nothing outside of you can give you what you want and need the most. If you want to be loved, you have to love yourself. If you want to be respected, you have to first respect yourself and your actions. If you want to be validated that acknowledgement has to come from within or it won't be accepted even if given.
I hope Edwards uses this event in his life as a pivotal moment to realign with what he values most. I'd like to see him rise above this challenge and go on to serve the greater good of all, including himself. If he does he will experience true worth from the inside out.
I'm not an attorney nor an expert on campaign financing. I'm not going to comment on the legalities of the case. What I address here is what happens when a person shows up in life out of alignment with what he or she values.
I believe John Edwards when he says he valued his role as a 'family man'. Yet he still violated that value when he entered into an intimate relationship outside of his marriage. While I don't condone his actions, I have compassion for him as a human being. Look within yourself. When have you turned your back on what you hold dear in exchange for a 'feel good' hit of some sort? We've all done it at one time or another.
Nothing good comes out of trending in values for validation. Whether its Tweeting inappropriate photos, participating in 'shady' get-rich quick schemes or trading your 'at home 40' for two hot 20s many of these acts are blind misguided attempts to fill an emotional void.
I'm not inside Edwards' head so I don't know what he was thinking at the time. What I do know in examining my own life and in working with my clients is when we disavow what matters most to us or allow our personal boundaries to be crossed we ultimately suffer - as Edwards is now.
He faces up to 30 years in jail if convicted. His political career is likely over regardless of the verdict. The emotional stress of a six week trial will likely take its toll on his health and well-being.
Like many who've exhibited 'what were you thinking!?!' behavior, Edwards may have sought to be acknowledged for what he felt was lacking within himself. In doing so he created a self-fulfilling prophecy by further distancing himself from the validation he so desperately craved.
Know this: nothing outside of you can give you what you want and need the most. If you want to be loved, you have to love yourself. If you want to be respected, you have to first respect yourself and your actions. If you want to be validated that acknowledgement has to come from within or it won't be accepted even if given.
I hope Edwards uses this event in his life as a pivotal moment to realign with what he values most. I'd like to see him rise above this challenge and go on to serve the greater good of all, including himself. If he does he will experience true worth from the inside out.
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