If you think you are heading for a divorce - but don't want your marriage to end, and you are determined to fight for your marriage and save it, I congratulate you.
Not many people are like that anymore - this is the reason the divorce rate is sky-high for the last couple of years.
Marriage requires selflessness and nobody is that way any more.
Like you, I was in an ending marriage and like you; I didn't want it to end and was ready to fight for it.
Unfortunately, I wasn't as smart as you're being right now - I didn't think of getting outside advice until much later.
During that time I did things that I came up with myself, but they made the whole situation worse.
For example, I cried in front of my husband so he would see me, see how much I cared about him and would return to the marriage.
Could this have worked? No way! But that's the point I am trying to make.
What made me eventually save my marriage was getting some outside advice.
And I am going to tell you the first advice I got - the first thing that I was told to do in order to save my marriage: Calming down.
Yes, simple as that, but actually it's what saves marriages! When you are desperate to save a marriage like I was, your judgment is blurred and you can't tell right from wrong, and you end up doing all the wrong things (such as begging your spouse).
I was told that most marriages end because people don't get outside advice, and so they can't enter that "calmed down, relaxed" state of mind (which is the "marriage saving" state, actually), they continue doing what they feel that they should do, and the result is divorce.
Do not make that mistake.
Calm down - relax.
You can save your marriage regardless of how bad everything is, but you have to calm down first in order to be able to look at everything from a wider perspective and pinpoint the exact roots of your marriage problems.
 It was what saved my marriage.