Dear Ramon,

I'm 17 yrs old and I've recently come out to my mom.  she doesn't want to talk about it, and says its not something she wants to discuss. so i feel i basically have no support from my mom.   I haven't told my step dad yet. He's homophobic....so I'm a bit scared.  I know he wouldn't physically harm me, but i don't know how he would react. can you please help?

-Coming Out

Dear Coming Out,

Though it may seem like it was a bad decision, you did a very admirable thing by coming out to your mom.  Congratulations on having the strength and courage to share your lifestyle with those you love.  Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents and no way to predict how they will react.  Sometimes it's hard for parents to deal with their kids being gay.  Some feel loss; others are confused; and some are just plain angry.  But often these are just stages.  They need time to adjust, but you have to be open to the fact that it may take a long time for them to come around, if at all. 


Outproud is a great web site about coming out to your parents. You may also want to suggest (not force) your parents to read materials from PFLAG on how to deal with having a gay child.   

Good luck with your parents and always remember that there is help out there for you. You are never alone!