Is it Better to Divorce? - 4 Signals the Answer Might Be Yes
The choice to divorce is never an easy one to make.
You have committed your heart and your life to another person and promised to be partner until the end.
You've merged households, finances, families, friends, and future plans.
Losing all of that at once can be a very painful and intimidating prospect.
Despite all of that, there are situations where staying in the marriage might be more destructive ultimately than leaving.
If you are in a toxic situation, it can do long term harm to you and to your children as well.
At times it is the better answer to grab the life preserver and get out of the water than to stay with the ship and drown.
Here are 4 signals that the marriage might not be salvageable: 1.
There is abuse in the relationship.
If you are experiencing physical abuse, this is extremely dangerous for you as well as your children.
Please get in touch with a counselor who specializes in this issue, or a shelter that handles domestic violence cases.
One of the most dangerous junctures in a relationship is when the victim is leaving the abuser.
You need a carefully constructed safe plan and you need help to create it.
If you are being emotionally abused, be aware that the scars are more subtle but still extremely painful and damaging.
2.
Your partner engages in affairs and won't stop.
An affair can actually ultimately strengthen a marriage if both partners recognize it as a wake up call and take serious steps to increase communication and accountability.
But if your partner keeps cheating, there is no solid basis for a relationship and trust is non-existent.
You will feel the pain of betrayal over and over again, and you are even setting yourself up in a physically risky situation by staying in a non-monogamous relationship.
3.
Your partner has a drug or alcohol addiction and refuses treatment.
This is a difficult situation, but if your partner is always chasing the next high or drink, you will be on the back burner.
You spouse can't be fully present in the relationship and may be putting your finances and legal standing as a couple at risk - for example if he or she has an accident while under the influence and harms someone.
Job losses, possible harm or neglect to your children - these are other considerations you must take into account when considering your life with an addict.
4.
Your spouse has a personality disorder.
A couple of the more common and destructive disorders to relationships are sociopathy/psychopathy and narcissism.
It may not be apparent immediately upon meeting someone that they are hard wired with one of these disorders - but over time, the hurtful and bewildering acts cause a great deal of damage to relationships.
As of now, there is no definitive treatment for these disorders, and in fact most people with them don't feel they have a problem to treat anyway.
You have committed your heart and your life to another person and promised to be partner until the end.
You've merged households, finances, families, friends, and future plans.
Losing all of that at once can be a very painful and intimidating prospect.
Despite all of that, there are situations where staying in the marriage might be more destructive ultimately than leaving.
If you are in a toxic situation, it can do long term harm to you and to your children as well.
At times it is the better answer to grab the life preserver and get out of the water than to stay with the ship and drown.
Here are 4 signals that the marriage might not be salvageable: 1.
There is abuse in the relationship.
If you are experiencing physical abuse, this is extremely dangerous for you as well as your children.
Please get in touch with a counselor who specializes in this issue, or a shelter that handles domestic violence cases.
One of the most dangerous junctures in a relationship is when the victim is leaving the abuser.
You need a carefully constructed safe plan and you need help to create it.
If you are being emotionally abused, be aware that the scars are more subtle but still extremely painful and damaging.
2.
Your partner engages in affairs and won't stop.
An affair can actually ultimately strengthen a marriage if both partners recognize it as a wake up call and take serious steps to increase communication and accountability.
But if your partner keeps cheating, there is no solid basis for a relationship and trust is non-existent.
You will feel the pain of betrayal over and over again, and you are even setting yourself up in a physically risky situation by staying in a non-monogamous relationship.
3.
Your partner has a drug or alcohol addiction and refuses treatment.
This is a difficult situation, but if your partner is always chasing the next high or drink, you will be on the back burner.
You spouse can't be fully present in the relationship and may be putting your finances and legal standing as a couple at risk - for example if he or she has an accident while under the influence and harms someone.
Job losses, possible harm or neglect to your children - these are other considerations you must take into account when considering your life with an addict.
4.
Your spouse has a personality disorder.
A couple of the more common and destructive disorders to relationships are sociopathy/psychopathy and narcissism.
It may not be apparent immediately upon meeting someone that they are hard wired with one of these disorders - but over time, the hurtful and bewildering acts cause a great deal of damage to relationships.
As of now, there is no definitive treatment for these disorders, and in fact most people with them don't feel they have a problem to treat anyway.
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