A "Dorset funeral" is a simple, dignified affair but how do you present a speech that is in keeping with it? Here are some useful guidelines.
Firstly and foremost, you must keep it simple and no more than 5 minutes long.
In fact, given the highly charged emotional state, added to the tensions of public speaking, a few minutes will often suffice.
Having said that, even speaking for a few minutes can often feel like a very long time.
Do not be scared to ask other family members and friends for their advice in deciding what remembrances you would like to share.
You do not have to present an obituary or a complete list of the events in the person's life.
Remember you will be talking to friends and relatives that will have known the deceased as well.
Concentrate instead on reminding all present of the person's character, the good things they did for other people.
If you can share it, then do mention a funny or warm moment that you had with them.
Avoid mentioning anything bad about the person, it will serve no purpose now.
Remember you are not giving a political speech or a lecture to students, you will be talking to friends and relatives and that is the tone you should set in your writing.
Practice reading out your speech aloud, to a partner or friend if possible and do not get upset if they criticise.
The spirit of a Dorset funeral is simple but dignified and you should reflect this in your speech.
So try to keep this in mind by not mentioning anything distasteful or crude and especially avoid trying to make any bad jokes at the deceased expense.
On a more practical level, you should expect to become emotional at the time of making the speech and that is completely alright.
Make sure that you type your speech in extra large letters so that you can see it clearly, even with tears in your eyes.
In case you become to emotional and cannot continue the speech, arrange for someone to be there to finish it for you.
Try not to become nervous and remember you are in the company of friends and family.
Everybody is a little nervous of public speaking and with many people it brings back memories of having to stand up in front of the rest of the class, in your school days.
This is very different, everybody who is going to be listening to you, will be willing you success.
There is no pressure, except that which you put on yourself.
Try to be positive and push any negatives thoughts from your mind.
A trick used by actors is to concentrate on controlling your breathing.
Breathe in slowly for the count of three, but breathe out for the count of six.
Do this a few times and you will immediately notice that you start to calm down.
Repeat this, if you feel you are getting stressed.
This method will bypass your "panicky" thinking process and tell your body directly, hey act normally, there is no threat, there is nothing to fear.
And this is the truth of the situation, whatever strange thoughts might flit across your mind.
Just before you speak, concentrate on loosening the muscles at the based of your neck, so your head can move freely up and down.
You will feel you shoulders open up, push them gently back.
Stand up straight and find a friendly face in the far middle of the audience to look at.
Imagine that there is no one else there and you are just talking to them as a friend.
Take a deep breath and start you speech.
Take you time and do not rush it.
If you have any problems do not be scared to stop and gather your self.
Everyone will be sympathetic, there will be no pressure.
No one is there to judge you, but to share the fond memories and the grief.
If you can, use the politicians trick of having a small glass of water handy that you can sip.
You can use this to stop talking and gather your thoughts if you have to.