I Know: You Should Start A Business!
You Don't Have To Be Crazy, But It Sure Helps
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
I bumped into an old buddy in cyberspace the other day, and we met for a quick drink to catch up. He had decided to start a business, possibly because there has always been something seriously wrong with the guy, so of course I wanted to hear all about it. We met at a little watering hole next-door to his business (a little downtown coffee shop).
"So, you own a business!" I said. "Cool!" "Yeah," my buddy said. "It's going great." He went on to describe how he'd been laid-off from his corporate job (due to the economy, whatever that is), and, not wanting to be a victim on the government dole, he'd drained his 401k and followed that dream. He came up with a cool, unique concept, a nice logo, and put his considerable MBA skills to work.
"I only have a few minutes," he said, "I have to get back." "Customers?" I asked. "No, heh heh," he chuckled. "I never have time for customers. No, I've got another meeting with lawyers."
If you want to take his cue and start a business, you should probably get a Ph.D. in accounting or law (preferably both) first, especially if you want to run some kind of crazy, dangerous business like a coffee shop. But go for it! We need entrepreneurs; the president said so once! So here's your 17,438,922 pages of regulations (yes, many of them conflict with each other, so yes, you are indeed screwed no matter what you do), your hefty tax bill, your weighty license fees (and you're sure to miss some licensing requirement), and the number to a tax lawyer who's supposedly buddies with somebody at city hall.
Your reward for enduring all that, and for creating jobs, and for adding valuable previously-non-existent funds to the local tax base? If you're like my old pal, you get an Occupy Whatever group camped out on the sidewalk in front of your place, screaming about the unfairness of capitalist pigs (such as yourself) and wrecking your bathroom every twenty minutes. When he gets off, your busboy can join them (and does!) - and he makes sure to point out to his new friends that you have LOTS of money and they should probably find a way to slip and fall on the way to that potty.
If you get good advice up-front, you can still get away with entrepreneurship in this country, and you can be successful (despite the highest corporate tax rate in the world and the worst regulatory environment anywhere, ever). But don't expect any thanks from the statists whose very existence depends vitally on your work. We'll still let you start a business in America (at least until after the re-election, when we'll have more "flexibility")... but we sure don't have to like it.
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
I bumped into an old buddy in cyberspace the other day, and we met for a quick drink to catch up. He had decided to start a business, possibly because there has always been something seriously wrong with the guy, so of course I wanted to hear all about it. We met at a little watering hole next-door to his business (a little downtown coffee shop).
"So, you own a business!" I said. "Cool!" "Yeah," my buddy said. "It's going great." He went on to describe how he'd been laid-off from his corporate job (due to the economy, whatever that is), and, not wanting to be a victim on the government dole, he'd drained his 401k and followed that dream. He came up with a cool, unique concept, a nice logo, and put his considerable MBA skills to work.
"I only have a few minutes," he said, "I have to get back." "Customers?" I asked. "No, heh heh," he chuckled. "I never have time for customers. No, I've got another meeting with lawyers."
If you want to take his cue and start a business, you should probably get a Ph.D. in accounting or law (preferably both) first, especially if you want to run some kind of crazy, dangerous business like a coffee shop. But go for it! We need entrepreneurs; the president said so once! So here's your 17,438,922 pages of regulations (yes, many of them conflict with each other, so yes, you are indeed screwed no matter what you do), your hefty tax bill, your weighty license fees (and you're sure to miss some licensing requirement), and the number to a tax lawyer who's supposedly buddies with somebody at city hall.
Your reward for enduring all that, and for creating jobs, and for adding valuable previously-non-existent funds to the local tax base? If you're like my old pal, you get an Occupy Whatever group camped out on the sidewalk in front of your place, screaming about the unfairness of capitalist pigs (such as yourself) and wrecking your bathroom every twenty minutes. When he gets off, your busboy can join them (and does!) - and he makes sure to point out to his new friends that you have LOTS of money and they should probably find a way to slip and fall on the way to that potty.
If you get good advice up-front, you can still get away with entrepreneurship in this country, and you can be successful (despite the highest corporate tax rate in the world and the worst regulatory environment anywhere, ever). But don't expect any thanks from the statists whose very existence depends vitally on your work. We'll still let you start a business in America (at least until after the re-election, when we'll have more "flexibility")... but we sure don't have to like it.
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