Preschoolers have been labeled as ego-centric.
Well, of course they are.
It's developmentally appropriate for them to be so.
But, what some of us have been lead to believe is that they are not capable of feeling empathy.
After 25 years of working with preschoolers, I'd like to put that myth to rest.
Emotional intelligence is something that can be encouraged and taught.
Young children are quick to become emotionally literate if giving the opportunity to learn in an environment of acceptance and love.
There are many ways to implement the skills needed to develop empathy.
One way is with small groups of children, art supplies and puppets.
The behaviors that surface when young children play together are those that we often have to deal with throughout their and our lives: inclusion/exclusion, how to enter play without totally changing the 'game,' different needs, thoughtfulness/thoughtlessness.
The list is as long as the issues that face humanity: both children and adults.
At our preschool in San Francisco, California, I've been using puppets, recycled and open ended materials with small groups of children.
Whenever a problem arises we: 1.
Name the problem: For example: We have two children who both want one piece of blue fabric.
2.
Have the children involved sit down together.
3.
Take turns: One child talks, the other listens.
the child tells how they feel.
Then they switch roles.
4.
Ideas: What can we do to solve this problem.
All ideas are heard.
5.
Choice: The idea that both children decide on, the one that they are both satisfied with, is the one that is chosen.
6.
Do it! The chosen idea is acted on.
You might think that an easy solution would be to cut the fabric.
But, that is not always the case.
One child may say they want the entire fabric.
Or both children may want it all.
I recall once they worked out taking the entire piece of fabric home on alternate days! Sometimes this needs adult facilitation.
As I'm as interested in teaching emotional literacy as I am in having them problem solve, I often direct the children to the child's face and ask how they think this child feels.
We then ask for validation from the child.
Is this how you are feeling? Sometimes we are corrected.
This will often open up more dialogue on feelings.
Sometimes the other children offer solutions.
Much is learned during this time of being together and finding out how others feel and think.
You'd be amazed at what three, four and five year olds have to express when we are willing to really listen.
Just the other day when a new child asked to join a group already in progress, a five year old had this to offer: "There's always room for one more.
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