How Can I Stop My Divorce?
- 1). Make a list of the reasons for the divorce from your perspective. Make a separate list of reasons for the divorce from your spouse's perspective. Separate the list of reasons for the divorce into three different categories. The categories include things you can change in the relationship, things you cannot change and things you refuse to change.
- 2). Focus on the things you can and are willing to change in the relationship. Write down the physical barriers in your relationship and what you can do to overcome them. A spouse that works 18 hours a day and sleeps the other 6 hours, for example, must make a choice between her work or her spouse. And a spouse that refuses to be intimate with her husband needs to make him more of a priority.
- 3). Open up communication with your spouse immediately. Find a reason to communicate often as possible in a positive and considerate way. Start with a friendly email and casual conversations about common interests. Avoid conflict at all cost. Your spouse will not want to communicate with you if the conversation always ends in an argument.
- 4). Schedule routine times to talk with your spouse on an intimate level. Be persistent about staying in contact even with a reluctant spouse. Keep the conversation brief and to the point. Be cautious not to further distance an angry spouse. It takes time to move beyond the anger.
- 5). Invite your spouse out for coffee or lunch. Treat it like a first date. Look your best and plan in advance what you want to talk about. Try to impress your spouse. Forget all the negative things that you have learned about your spouse over the duration of the marriage. Listen carefully to what your spouse has to say.
- 6). Try to resolve the major problems in your marriage that led to divorce proceedings. Fix financial problems, spending less and saving more, for example. Or improve intimacy problems by learning to be more intimate and making intimacy a priority. Regain respect for your spouse and yourself through counseling and corrective behavior.
- 7). Make concrete steps towards changing the negative characteristics of your marriage before you reunite. Ask your spouse to postpone the divorce for six months, so that you can work on improving yourself. Say you need the extra time to be able to transition from marriage to divorce. Use the time to work on your relationship and seek professional advice as needed.
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