TEENAGERS - How To Not YELL At Them When You Really Want To!
Have you ever looked back at a situation when you were confronting your teenager and you became the 'screamer' that you said you would never be?Although it is easy to yell at your teenager during certain circumstances, you are actually just pushing them away and making communication for both parties difficult.
Here are 6 easy tips that you can use to curb your anger.
1.
Count to ten very slowly.
Concentrate on the counting, regardless of what your child is doing or saying.
This means that you are not just acting on impulse, but you are giving time for the situation to settle and for you to think about what you say instead of acting on your immediate emotions and regretting it later.
2.
Put your hands in your pockets.
This may seem stupid, but it will help you resist the urge to use your hands in a threatening manner.
3.
Get away from the situation.
Sometimes you may just need time away from your teenager to think about the situation before you act on it.
Go into another room or take a walk.
This gives both you and your teen some time to cool off.
4.
Talk about the situation.
It can be helpful to get another perspective on the situation.
Talk about it with your partner, another family member or perhaps a close friend.
Taking the time to talk the situation through will help you develop creative ideas for dealing with the situation.
5.
Ask yourself questions! How am I reacting to the situation? Why am I angry? Am I over reacting? 6.
Talk calmly.
The moment you begin to shout, your teenager will shout back and you are not longer discussing the situation, but having a full blown argument.
Use "I" not "You" statements: "I am very upset about this because..
..
..
" not, "You really MESSED UP, how could you have done this!" There is no doubt you will get angry especially if your child has gone behind your back.
There may be times you even say something that you really regret saying to your child.
If your child said something similar to you, you would expect an apology.
Remember, the same expectation also applies to parents.
Here are 6 easy tips that you can use to curb your anger.
1.
Count to ten very slowly.
Concentrate on the counting, regardless of what your child is doing or saying.
This means that you are not just acting on impulse, but you are giving time for the situation to settle and for you to think about what you say instead of acting on your immediate emotions and regretting it later.
2.
Put your hands in your pockets.
This may seem stupid, but it will help you resist the urge to use your hands in a threatening manner.
3.
Get away from the situation.
Sometimes you may just need time away from your teenager to think about the situation before you act on it.
Go into another room or take a walk.
This gives both you and your teen some time to cool off.
4.
Talk about the situation.
It can be helpful to get another perspective on the situation.
Talk about it with your partner, another family member or perhaps a close friend.
Taking the time to talk the situation through will help you develop creative ideas for dealing with the situation.
5.
Ask yourself questions! How am I reacting to the situation? Why am I angry? Am I over reacting? 6.
Talk calmly.
The moment you begin to shout, your teenager will shout back and you are not longer discussing the situation, but having a full blown argument.
Use "I" not "You" statements: "I am very upset about this because..
..
..
" not, "You really MESSED UP, how could you have done this!" There is no doubt you will get angry especially if your child has gone behind your back.
There may be times you even say something that you really regret saying to your child.
If your child said something similar to you, you would expect an apology.
Remember, the same expectation also applies to parents.
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