Until they enter a courtroom for a custody hearing, most parents don't realize how much control the court has over matters of the heart.
There is no such thing as a "cookie-cutter" family, and not every divorce can be handled in a mechanical fashion, but family courts are not set up to deal with all the vagaries of each case, nor can they fashion the law to meet the needs of each unique situation.
This is why; when it comes to custody, divorce lawyers strongly recommend mediation.
According to his book, Divorce Mediation's Astonishing Costs/Benefits, Dr.
Robert Emery concludes that families benefit from the persistent benefits of being able to control their own destiny through mediation.
Rather than giving the court the power to make these decisions for you, this book empowers families to make the choices that best suit their family's needs.
Divorce lawyers strongly support the use of mediation, whenever possible, to resolve disputes over custody.
In this safer and more cooperative environment, trained mediators, couples and attorneys can sit down and work out a plan that is in the best interests of the children.
Mediation allows couples to open up more and start a constructive dialogue about how they want their post-divorce family to function, without the structure and formality of a courtroom setting.
Decisions that are made in this format are more effective and lasting, because the individual parties take ownership of them.
According to Dr.
Emery, "how you negotiate your divorce settlement is going to start you down a path that you will be walking for many years to come.
" Working with an experienced divorce lawyer, as well as a child custody mediator, can help you prepare for a more amicable post-divorce relationship.