Demystifying Oppositional, Defiant Teen-Age Behaviour
Teen-age, which may be characterized by oppositional, defiant behaviour causing frequent parent-child disagreements, can be a trying time not only for parents, but the child as well.
The parents To the parent of a troubled teenager, the period can be trying, because of the transformation of a previously obedient, trusting child into a defiant, oppositional one, challenging their authority at every turn.
The child has suddenly discovered that he/she knows everything and the parents are just a couple of ignorant folks using some archaic methods to keep her/him in tow.
It is like a comeback of 'terrible twos', only much worse.
Worse, because, unlike the two-year-old who screams and yells partly because of limited ability to verbally express their discontent, the teenage has gained eloquence in some language and can boldly face up to you and express their grievance in not so few words! On the flip side of that, but equally unnerving, is the defiant teenager who opts to use the tool of silence when 'offended.
' The parents are left wondering, "Where did we go wrong? What should we have done differently to prevent this?' The teen It is an equally trying time for the teenager, who thinks he/she knows it all and does not need to be told/taught anything by his/her parents.
"Why can't my parents be like So-and-So's parents who let him/her do whatever he/she pleases? Why do I have to be home by a certain time when some of my peers do not have curfews? Why should my parents be concerned about the company I keep, why should it be any of their business who my friends are? After all I am old enough to make these decisions for myself.
Why am I treated like a child, yet I am all grown up now?" These and many other questions underlie the conflicts and mindset that culminate into defiant, oppositional behavior of teenagers.
Many feel they are misunderstood or inappropriately blamed by their parents, while others say their parents do not listen to them or have no time for them.
Definitions Since the words teen, adolescence and puberty are used on and off in reference to particular periods in childhood, I will take a few moments to define these terminologies.
A teen is defined by Thesaurus as a young person (juvenile) between the onset of puberty and maturity or relating to the time in a person's life between the ages of 13 and 19 years inclusive.
Puberty is the time in which a child's sexual and physical characteristics mature, as a result of hormone changes.
Adolescence is the period between the beginning of sexual maturity (puberty) and adulthood.
During this period, from 13 to 19 years, the adolescent undergoes not only accelerated physical growth but also psychological maturation resulting in "adult-like" behavior.
Together with these emotional, social and mental changes also occur.
Are the terms inter-related? Although puberty has historically been associated with the onset of adolescent development, it now typically begins prior to the teenage years.
Over the years there has been a shift of onset of puberty to pre-adolescence.
It may occur as early as eight years in girls and nine years in boys.
The period of adolescence is most closely associated with the teenage years, although its physical, psychological and cultural expressions can begin earlier and end later.
Physical growth, as distinct from puberty (particularly in males), and cognitive development generally seen in adolescence, can also extend into the early twenties.
It follows, therefore, that although the terms teen-age and adolescence are often used interchangeably, chronological age provides only a rough marker of adolescence.
So why the defiant, oppositional behavior in teen-age? Although culturally many adolescent characteristics are attributed to physical changes and hormonal influence, there is little evidence that this is the case.
During adolescence, significant changes occur, including rapid physical growth and cognitive development, in particular abstract and multi-directional thinking.
As the brain continues to develop, significant changes occur in areas involved in decision-making, cognitive functions, control of impulses and evaluation of rewards and risks Changes associated with development of the child's abstract thinking and reasoning underlie the teen's emotional variability, increased vulnerability and tendency to argue.
Unlike younger children, adolescents are more likely to question others' assertions, and less likely to accept facts as absolute truths.
Through experience outside the family circle, they learn that rules they were taught as absolute are in fact relativistic.
They also begin to differentiate between rules instituted out of common sense (e.
g.
not touching a hot stove) and those that are based on culturally-relative standards (codes of etiquette).
This delineation, which younger children do not make, can lead to questioning of parental and other adult authority, posing a challenge.
During adolescence there is great emphasis on approval by peers due to increased level of self-consciousness.
Towards this end they can involve in risk-taking and reckless behavior, which in turn lands them in trouble with their parents.
Socially, the teen is undergoing further identity development.
Subsequent to cognitive development there is increasing self-awareness.
The final major aspect of identity formation is self-esteem, which is one's thoughts and feelings about one's self-concept and identity.
When children go through adolescence there is often a significant increase in parent-child conflict and a less cohesive familial bond.
Arguments often concern minor issues of control, such as curfew, acceptable clothing, and the adolescent's right to privacy which adolescents may have previously viewed as issues over which their parents had complete authority.
Parent-adolescent disagreements may also occur as a result of friends' influence on the adolescent that may be in opposition to the parents' values.
It is important to note that although conflicts between children and parents increase during adolescence, they are usually over relatively minor issues.
With regards to the important issues in life, most adolescent still share the same attitudes and values as their parents.
What should parents do? Despite changing family roles during adolescence, the home environment and parents are still important for the behaviors and choices of adolescents.
Adolescents who have a good relationship with their parents are less likely to engage in various risk behaviors, such as smoking, drinking, fighting, and/or unprotected sexual intercourse.
The parents To the parent of a troubled teenager, the period can be trying, because of the transformation of a previously obedient, trusting child into a defiant, oppositional one, challenging their authority at every turn.
The child has suddenly discovered that he/she knows everything and the parents are just a couple of ignorant folks using some archaic methods to keep her/him in tow.
It is like a comeback of 'terrible twos', only much worse.
Worse, because, unlike the two-year-old who screams and yells partly because of limited ability to verbally express their discontent, the teenage has gained eloquence in some language and can boldly face up to you and express their grievance in not so few words! On the flip side of that, but equally unnerving, is the defiant teenager who opts to use the tool of silence when 'offended.
' The parents are left wondering, "Where did we go wrong? What should we have done differently to prevent this?' The teen It is an equally trying time for the teenager, who thinks he/she knows it all and does not need to be told/taught anything by his/her parents.
"Why can't my parents be like So-and-So's parents who let him/her do whatever he/she pleases? Why do I have to be home by a certain time when some of my peers do not have curfews? Why should my parents be concerned about the company I keep, why should it be any of their business who my friends are? After all I am old enough to make these decisions for myself.
Why am I treated like a child, yet I am all grown up now?" These and many other questions underlie the conflicts and mindset that culminate into defiant, oppositional behavior of teenagers.
Many feel they are misunderstood or inappropriately blamed by their parents, while others say their parents do not listen to them or have no time for them.
Definitions Since the words teen, adolescence and puberty are used on and off in reference to particular periods in childhood, I will take a few moments to define these terminologies.
A teen is defined by Thesaurus as a young person (juvenile) between the onset of puberty and maturity or relating to the time in a person's life between the ages of 13 and 19 years inclusive.
Puberty is the time in which a child's sexual and physical characteristics mature, as a result of hormone changes.
Adolescence is the period between the beginning of sexual maturity (puberty) and adulthood.
During this period, from 13 to 19 years, the adolescent undergoes not only accelerated physical growth but also psychological maturation resulting in "adult-like" behavior.
Together with these emotional, social and mental changes also occur.
Are the terms inter-related? Although puberty has historically been associated with the onset of adolescent development, it now typically begins prior to the teenage years.
Over the years there has been a shift of onset of puberty to pre-adolescence.
It may occur as early as eight years in girls and nine years in boys.
The period of adolescence is most closely associated with the teenage years, although its physical, psychological and cultural expressions can begin earlier and end later.
Physical growth, as distinct from puberty (particularly in males), and cognitive development generally seen in adolescence, can also extend into the early twenties.
It follows, therefore, that although the terms teen-age and adolescence are often used interchangeably, chronological age provides only a rough marker of adolescence.
So why the defiant, oppositional behavior in teen-age? Although culturally many adolescent characteristics are attributed to physical changes and hormonal influence, there is little evidence that this is the case.
During adolescence, significant changes occur, including rapid physical growth and cognitive development, in particular abstract and multi-directional thinking.
As the brain continues to develop, significant changes occur in areas involved in decision-making, cognitive functions, control of impulses and evaluation of rewards and risks Changes associated with development of the child's abstract thinking and reasoning underlie the teen's emotional variability, increased vulnerability and tendency to argue.
Unlike younger children, adolescents are more likely to question others' assertions, and less likely to accept facts as absolute truths.
Through experience outside the family circle, they learn that rules they were taught as absolute are in fact relativistic.
They also begin to differentiate between rules instituted out of common sense (e.
g.
not touching a hot stove) and those that are based on culturally-relative standards (codes of etiquette).
This delineation, which younger children do not make, can lead to questioning of parental and other adult authority, posing a challenge.
During adolescence there is great emphasis on approval by peers due to increased level of self-consciousness.
Towards this end they can involve in risk-taking and reckless behavior, which in turn lands them in trouble with their parents.
Socially, the teen is undergoing further identity development.
Subsequent to cognitive development there is increasing self-awareness.
The final major aspect of identity formation is self-esteem, which is one's thoughts and feelings about one's self-concept and identity.
When children go through adolescence there is often a significant increase in parent-child conflict and a less cohesive familial bond.
Arguments often concern minor issues of control, such as curfew, acceptable clothing, and the adolescent's right to privacy which adolescents may have previously viewed as issues over which their parents had complete authority.
Parent-adolescent disagreements may also occur as a result of friends' influence on the adolescent that may be in opposition to the parents' values.
It is important to note that although conflicts between children and parents increase during adolescence, they are usually over relatively minor issues.
With regards to the important issues in life, most adolescent still share the same attitudes and values as their parents.
What should parents do? Despite changing family roles during adolescence, the home environment and parents are still important for the behaviors and choices of adolescents.
Adolescents who have a good relationship with their parents are less likely to engage in various risk behaviors, such as smoking, drinking, fighting, and/or unprotected sexual intercourse.
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