See Also:
• Funniest Obama Pictures
• Barack Obama Cartoons
• Funniest Obama Quotes
• Dumbest Obama Gaffes
• Photos of Obama Being Awesome
• Latest Late-Night Jokes

"This morning President Obama met with Britain's Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power and the future king of England." -Conan O'Brien

"President Obama was diagnosed with acid reflux. His approval rating is so low that he's starting to get pushback from his esophagus." -Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama gave a speech on immigration tonight, and none of the big four TV networks aired it. Even television wants to distance itself from President Obama now." –Jimmy Kimmel

“Take a look at this: gas under $3 a gallon – under $3 a gallon. Unemployment under 6%, whoever thought? Stock market breaking records every day. No wonder the guy is so unpopular.” –David Letterman on President Obama

"Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this." –Conan O'Brien

 "The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out." –Conan O'Brien

"Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving." –Craig Ferguson

"Republicans won enough seats to gain a majority in the Senate and increase their majority in the House.

For those Democratic candidates who wanted to distance yourselves from Obama, congratulations. You did." –Seth Meyers

"During a speech on Sunday, President Obama said to the crowd, 'We've got to vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote.' This went on for an hour until someone finally fixed his teleprompter." –Jimmy Fallon

Sources are saying Russia may have hacked into the White House Internet system. The problem was discovered this morning when suddenly Obama's screen saver was a shirtless Vladimir Putin." –Conan O'Brien

"A man in a President Obama mask robbed a store recently. Police describe him as 'armed and incapable of reforming immigration.'" –Craig Ferguson

"After the Obama mask robbery, someone in a Hillary Clinton mask came in and promised to clean up the mess he left behind." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama and Michelle Obama went to a parent-teacher conference at their daughters' school this week. The teachers say their daughters are doing well, but with a few billion more in education funding, they could be doing great." –Jimmy Fallon

"At a polling station while President Obama was standing next to a woman, a man shouted out, 'Hey, Mr. President, stay away from my girlfriend.' He didn't say this because Obama was flirting with her, but because his girlfriend is a Democrat running for re-election." –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama was out playing golf today. He hit one tee shot 250 yards. Even golf balls are trying to distance themselves from him." –David Letterman

"President Obama played his 200th round of golf yesterday. Then Democrats said, 'You know what? He can do whatever he wants as long as he's not trying to campaign for us.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama was in California over the weekend to attend a fundraiser hosted by the creator of 'Farmville.' Obama and the creator of 'Farmville' have a lot in common. They both really wish it was still 2009." –Jimmy Fallon

"A survey found that more than half of Americans see President Obama's time in office as a failure. While the rest said, 'You saw him in his office? When?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Obama was actually in his office yesterday. He met with his Secret Service director to talk about the recent White House security breaches. First they had to address the elephant in the room. Not metaphorically — an actual elephant wandered into the room. Security's just awful." –Jimmy Fallon

"Former CIA Director Leon Panetta said it seems like President Obama has lost his way. Apparently, it's gotten so bad that this morning Obama was seen asking a White House intruder for directions." –Seth Meyers

The White House dismissed former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta's criticisms of President Obama, saying he has faced some of the most difficult issues of our time. That would be a great defense if EVERY president didn't face the most difficult issues of their time. That's the job." –Jimmy Fallon

"It's been reported in the news that President Obama asked HBO for copies of the upcoming season of 'Game of Thrones.' You know things are bad in this country when even the White House can't afford HBO." –Conan O'Brien

"Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that he is resigning after five years with the administration. Obama said, 'Wait, you can do that?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama is facing criticism over an incident yesterday where he was holding a cup of coffee in his hand, and then used that same hand to salute a Marine. Though with all that's going on in the world, I'm surprised he didn't salute with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a cigarette in the other." –Jimmy Fallon

"People are still talking about this guy who hopped the fence and ran into the White House. President Obama is calling for a security crackdown. In fact, today he announced a new punishment for anyone who breaks into the White House: Now you have to be president." –Conan O'Brien

"This week President Obama gave a big speech from White House where he outlined his plan to quote 'degrade and ultimately destroy' the terror group ISIS. When asked how, he said, 'I'll build their website.'" –Jimmy Fallon

During a speech last night, President Obama announced that the U.S. will lead a huge multinational coalition to fight the terror groups in Iraq. Of course, most people just turned it off because they thought it was a rerun.' –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama shows up at a press conference and he's wearing a beige suit. Well, this drives the Republicans crazy. It's nothing but, 'How could he?' and 'What's he trying to pull?' Republicans would just rather have a beige President." –David Letterman

"President Obama went to the beach yesterday while he's vacationing on Martha's Vineyard. Which got weird when he took out his metal detector to search for $16 trillion in quarters." –Jimmy Fallon 

"President Obama announced last Thursday night that the U.S. would begin air strikes in Iraq. So in a way, it was the ultimate throwback Thursday. " –Seth Meyers

"A new poll found that President Obama's approval rating has hit a new low of just 40 percent. Or as Obama put it, '60 under par!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"After the president's State of the Union address, there will be three separate Republican rebuttals. Obama said, 'Yeah, I live with two daughters, my wife and my mother-in-law. Three people telling me I'm wrong is a holiday.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama said she wants Americans to elect a woman president 'as soon as possible.' So even she has had enough of President Obama." –Conan O'Brien