Boundaries and Love
"I'm the parent.
You're the child, end of discussion.
" The tween years are the most challenging for parents.
Each child is "becoming" a young adult.
They are trying to identify who they are.
One of the areas in which they are developing is the sense of self.
Where do I begin and my parents end? Boundaries are an area where self is outlined.
Children begin to push the boundaries of their parents, to see how far they can go.
It is important that parents remain firm in their limits.
The family unit is not a democracy; children do not get a vote.
They should be allowed to express their input; concerns and reasons, but the ultimate decisions should be the parents.
Children will push and push and push until they find the wall.
If the parents cave, children will find limits in the school.
If the school does not hold firm, children will find limits within the law.
If the law does not hold boundaries, children will find limits within juvenile detention.
There are always limits to how far a behavior can go.
Parents are the first line of defense.
By establishing these boundaries, children gain a sense of structure in their world.
Their world has walls.
There will be time when those walls will be stretched and even pushed out a little farther, but for the most part, those walls, limits, or boundaries are their safety.
Even though they complain, children love boundaries.
It gives them a sense of security.
They know they are safe within these walls.
They know how far they can go.
Children learn the consequences of their actions.
They know they are loved because someone cares about what happens to them.
Parents are also the first example of God to children.
God set out very specific boundaries for us in the Ten Commandments.
These limits or boundaries were not meant to hinder us, control us, or impose unfair restrictions on us.
They were set for our own benefit.
If we do not set limits or boundaries for our children, how will they ever begin to understand the love we have for them? How will they ever learn about the Father's love for them? "My son do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delights in.
" Proverbs 3: 11-12 (NIV)
You're the child, end of discussion.
" The tween years are the most challenging for parents.
Each child is "becoming" a young adult.
They are trying to identify who they are.
One of the areas in which they are developing is the sense of self.
Where do I begin and my parents end? Boundaries are an area where self is outlined.
Children begin to push the boundaries of their parents, to see how far they can go.
It is important that parents remain firm in their limits.
The family unit is not a democracy; children do not get a vote.
They should be allowed to express their input; concerns and reasons, but the ultimate decisions should be the parents.
Children will push and push and push until they find the wall.
If the parents cave, children will find limits in the school.
If the school does not hold firm, children will find limits within the law.
If the law does not hold boundaries, children will find limits within juvenile detention.
There are always limits to how far a behavior can go.
Parents are the first line of defense.
By establishing these boundaries, children gain a sense of structure in their world.
Their world has walls.
There will be time when those walls will be stretched and even pushed out a little farther, but for the most part, those walls, limits, or boundaries are their safety.
Even though they complain, children love boundaries.
It gives them a sense of security.
They know they are safe within these walls.
They know how far they can go.
Children learn the consequences of their actions.
They know they are loved because someone cares about what happens to them.
Parents are also the first example of God to children.
God set out very specific boundaries for us in the Ten Commandments.
These limits or boundaries were not meant to hinder us, control us, or impose unfair restrictions on us.
They were set for our own benefit.
If we do not set limits or boundaries for our children, how will they ever begin to understand the love we have for them? How will they ever learn about the Father's love for them? "My son do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delights in.
" Proverbs 3: 11-12 (NIV)
Source...