Heal Your Broken Heart
There are mercifully few experiences in life that are as emotionally crippling as having your heart broken.
You go from one extreme to another.
Whilst in your relationship you have a future that takes your forward with real purpose and meaning.
When that is ripped away from you then there is a gaping void where your future once stood and uncertainty on how to fill it.
The journey of how to heal your broken heart is a long one, it is not a pleasant one, but it is one that you will be able to make.
When you split up with your ex you have just lost a major part of yourself, the person that you were going to walk into the future with has gone, and now your future looks uncertain.
When we open our hearts to someone we make ourselves vulnerable so that if they break up with us we struggle to function.
You need to go through a grieving process for what you have lost.
Something drew you together and the chances are that you had some good times together, so grieve for what you have lost.
You need plenty of rest and a bit of indulgence would not go amiss.
You really do not want to be by yourself because then it is far to easy to give in to depression and misery.
If you can, either go stay with someone or get someone to spend a few days with you.
Being around someone who is on your side and talking everything through will help to lessen the impact on you.
And of course, the more that you talk about it the easier it is to face up to it.
It is a lot easier said than done but do not focus on negatives.
Take a look at everything that is positive about you and use that as a base from which to rebuild yourself.
I do not often suggest making lists but this one could be useful.
Take an objective look at your old relationship and list all the negatives.
Put it somewhere prominent and add to it when you remember something new.
As that list grows it will help you break free of your perception of the relationship being a wonderful and perfect thing, it should also speed your healing process.
After a few days you need to start looking for ways to take your mind of your situation.
Laughter is a surprisingly powerful ally.
If you can watch some comedy movies or T.
V sitcoms then it should start to draw you out of your shell.
Start going for some walks, fresh air and exercise will help stimulate your mind, hiding away behind four wall will just imprison it.
If you have photos of you and your ex then I would not advise throwing them away, or cutting your ex out of them with a pair of scissors.
Those photos could represent some good memories from the relationship, so hide them away or give them to someone to look after, at least until you are more sure of what to do with them.
If you still live where you did with your ex then you need to embark on a major home improvement project.
You want to completely revamp the décor, remove all traces of your ex and give it something of your personality, a clear and visible statement of the new you.
Do not hide yourself away from the world.
It is understandable at first, but the longer you hide away, the more difficult it is going to be to rebuild your life.
Meet up with friends and family, they are all on your side and are there to give any help that you need.
Do not get back into dating too quickly as a rebound date will not do you any good.
If you want to heal your broken heart you have to take a journey through sadness, anger, fear and guilt.
If you want to get through this then you have to take that journey, otherwise it will just be like a lead weight around your neck that you will never get rid of.
If the split has really hit you bad and your are struggling with depression, then please get professional counselling.
The sooner your are back on your feet then the sooner you can get your life back.
Do you contact your ex? That has to be your decision.
Unless there remain definite feelings between the two of your then you are probably best keeping your distance.
If they want to be just good friends, the decline until you have got your life back.
It will not help you, if anything it will prolong your grief, as you will analyse everything that your ex says in the hope that you can get the relationship back.
I guess it goes without saying that having sex with your ex is a bad move! Get out and meet people, find new interests, join clubs, anything to refocus your mind.
I highly recommend exercising! Exercise does not just give you the chance to let of some steam but your brain will release the feel good chemicals endorphins which will leave you feeling good about yourself.
I do not know what sports you like but joining a team or a gym will get you meeting new people.
You could go for walks or try some dancing classes.
Keeping your body healthy, keeps your mind healthy and your self confidence and self belief riding high.
It will take time but you will heal your broken heart.
Make sure that you fill up your time so that you do not brood, you could open up a whole new world for yourselves.
Pay especial attention to the weekends, being at work during the week can keep your mind occupied but those two days need filling so stay active.
Do not lose confidence in yourself, do not give up on life, make the most of every day and I really hope that you find someone with who you can have a loving and fulfilling relationship.
You go from one extreme to another.
Whilst in your relationship you have a future that takes your forward with real purpose and meaning.
When that is ripped away from you then there is a gaping void where your future once stood and uncertainty on how to fill it.
The journey of how to heal your broken heart is a long one, it is not a pleasant one, but it is one that you will be able to make.
When you split up with your ex you have just lost a major part of yourself, the person that you were going to walk into the future with has gone, and now your future looks uncertain.
When we open our hearts to someone we make ourselves vulnerable so that if they break up with us we struggle to function.
You need to go through a grieving process for what you have lost.
Something drew you together and the chances are that you had some good times together, so grieve for what you have lost.
You need plenty of rest and a bit of indulgence would not go amiss.
You really do not want to be by yourself because then it is far to easy to give in to depression and misery.
If you can, either go stay with someone or get someone to spend a few days with you.
Being around someone who is on your side and talking everything through will help to lessen the impact on you.
And of course, the more that you talk about it the easier it is to face up to it.
It is a lot easier said than done but do not focus on negatives.
Take a look at everything that is positive about you and use that as a base from which to rebuild yourself.
I do not often suggest making lists but this one could be useful.
Take an objective look at your old relationship and list all the negatives.
Put it somewhere prominent and add to it when you remember something new.
As that list grows it will help you break free of your perception of the relationship being a wonderful and perfect thing, it should also speed your healing process.
After a few days you need to start looking for ways to take your mind of your situation.
Laughter is a surprisingly powerful ally.
If you can watch some comedy movies or T.
V sitcoms then it should start to draw you out of your shell.
Start going for some walks, fresh air and exercise will help stimulate your mind, hiding away behind four wall will just imprison it.
If you have photos of you and your ex then I would not advise throwing them away, or cutting your ex out of them with a pair of scissors.
Those photos could represent some good memories from the relationship, so hide them away or give them to someone to look after, at least until you are more sure of what to do with them.
If you still live where you did with your ex then you need to embark on a major home improvement project.
You want to completely revamp the décor, remove all traces of your ex and give it something of your personality, a clear and visible statement of the new you.
Do not hide yourself away from the world.
It is understandable at first, but the longer you hide away, the more difficult it is going to be to rebuild your life.
Meet up with friends and family, they are all on your side and are there to give any help that you need.
Do not get back into dating too quickly as a rebound date will not do you any good.
If you want to heal your broken heart you have to take a journey through sadness, anger, fear and guilt.
If you want to get through this then you have to take that journey, otherwise it will just be like a lead weight around your neck that you will never get rid of.
If the split has really hit you bad and your are struggling with depression, then please get professional counselling.
The sooner your are back on your feet then the sooner you can get your life back.
Do you contact your ex? That has to be your decision.
Unless there remain definite feelings between the two of your then you are probably best keeping your distance.
If they want to be just good friends, the decline until you have got your life back.
It will not help you, if anything it will prolong your grief, as you will analyse everything that your ex says in the hope that you can get the relationship back.
I guess it goes without saying that having sex with your ex is a bad move! Get out and meet people, find new interests, join clubs, anything to refocus your mind.
I highly recommend exercising! Exercise does not just give you the chance to let of some steam but your brain will release the feel good chemicals endorphins which will leave you feeling good about yourself.
I do not know what sports you like but joining a team or a gym will get you meeting new people.
You could go for walks or try some dancing classes.
Keeping your body healthy, keeps your mind healthy and your self confidence and self belief riding high.
It will take time but you will heal your broken heart.
Make sure that you fill up your time so that you do not brood, you could open up a whole new world for yourselves.
Pay especial attention to the weekends, being at work during the week can keep your mind occupied but those two days need filling so stay active.
Do not lose confidence in yourself, do not give up on life, make the most of every day and I really hope that you find someone with who you can have a loving and fulfilling relationship.
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