The breakup was tough.
Three arguments and it was over.
They never want to see you again.
You're probably still hoping for a miracle.
And, you may be saying, "I'll do whatever it takes to get them back.
I want my ex back!" If the breakup is recent, your pain is fresh, sharp, and throbbing.
This is when your most vulnerable, so be cautious.
Anyone can easily take advantage of you, especially your ex.
Screw up your courage and put your feelings on ice for the moment.
If it is really worth it to get back with your ex, then here are five steps you must take.
First, do not appear desperate or needy (even though you are feeling both desperate and needy!).
You absolutely need to control your emotions.
If the breakup is fresh, then find a good family member or friend to cry with you.
Don't beg or cry in front of your ex.
It will further drive them away.
Take a few days to purge your emotions and clear your head.
You will then be able to gain a better perspective on what's next.
Second, look at your future.
What are your goals? Will your ex keep you from your goals or help you get there? If the answer is the latter, then examine your behavior.
If your ex is helpful for your future, what did you do to push them away? When you decide what that is, change it! Quite possibly your ex may have been scared off by several things you did that they weren't comfortable with.
If you are to have a future with that person, you will have to change.
Only you can answer the question, "Is it worth it?" Third, learn to hear with your heart.
What does this mean? It means, learn how to pick up on how your partner is feeling rather than what they are thinking.
How your partner feels about an issue is far more important than what they think about an issue.
Hearing with your heart will give the relationship much more depth and make you valuable and cherished and your partner's eyes.
Fourth, keep your lines of communication open.
The line, "Let's just be friends," is trite and not exactly what you want to hear.
But, it's what you have to do right now.
Actually, it demonstrates maturity on your part.
You willing to say hello and have the occasional conversation.
Let them see the changes you're making, but keep it casual.
Finally, take a hard look at the whole time you spent together.
What caused the arguments? Whose needs weren't being met? When there were problems, who initiated them? You may discover your ex is not what you thought they were.
Or you may discover, you will have to make a lot of changes for a possible future with this relationship or a new relationship.
There is always a second chance.
But, there is also a new beginning.
Keep your mind open to both of them as you work through these five steps.