Dear Mona,

I have this friend I used to mess around with a lot. He, all of sudden, stopped and said he was straight; yet at times he still shows interest. How do I know if he's really straight now or still bi? I mean, just last night we went to the movies and I did not do anything because I was unsure.

Very respectfully,
BH

Dear B,

Where there is food, a hungry man will travel. And there you lay with your pantry wide open, accommodating his appetite.

I'm not saying you should close the kitchen forever; but until you stop giving away your rations without any explanations, you'll continue to mess around in confusion.

Most people think a guy must be gay or bi if he messes around with another man. So not true! Sexuality is more fluid than gay-bi-straight boundaries, especially during sexual experimentation phases (check out the Kinsey Scale of Human Sexuality). It sounds like your friend's been having his dessert before he's figured out which main course suits him best.

A man is hard enough to figure out when he's sure about his sexuality. A man still experimenting is nothing short of inconsistent and confusing. He may not know whether he is straight or bi right now. He may be exploring or confused. You played it best by keeping your cool at the movies. Continue to keep your hormonal distance until he clears up the smoke screen surrounding his desires. Once all is clear, then decide how much more of your goodies you're willing to share.

Yours burnin' in the kitchen,
Mona