In the whole Gay thing.
What is it we are REALLY afraid of? How did any form of loving become unacceptable? There were times when all expressions of love were more acceptable.
Why did it change? I think it may come down to the amassing of land and property, war and control.
You have all seen men do the "testosterone dance.
" This is a face-off where men test each other to see if the other can stand up to him in some form.
It may be just a verbal match.
Or perhaps a flexing of muscles and a show of strength in some form of another, that can also include some brawling! This dance helps men to determine if the other guy can "stand up" to him in some way, which is how men begin to feel more secure with each other.
For in the warrior paradigm in which we live, only those who can stand up shoulder to shoulder in battle against the foe are worthy of time and attention.
In this situation, the swisher guys, don't always measure up in this way, and so they are not as trustworthy.
This is my theory any way.
They are not "real men," but something else.
In this warrior paradigm, they are not what is needed, and so they are not valued, and in fact, something to be avoided at all costs.
In our current milieu, in city life, the lines are not drawn quite as tightly, but the stigma remains, and thus, it is not a popular choice.
Parents see their children as choosing a more difficult path, they wouldn't wish on anyone, and they do not want to see their children hurt.
When war is the way, for them, love is not the answer.
When love becomes the way, as is happening all around us, greater acceptance blossoms.
We all fear that which is different, and yet it is what makes life so much more interesting.
As I am going more mainstream, I am watching myself do the delicate dance of wanting to be the fullness of myself as a model for others, and yet wanting to package it in a way that others can also receive it gently, without ruffling too many feathers all at once.
It is an interesting dance.
Up until now, I have been experiencing life, celebrating my own differentness, and now as I re-enter the mainstream, rather than bucking the current, I am working on how to flow with it and retain the power of my uniqueness at the same time.
There are those who do so successfully, and others who do not.
I think that those who experience attacks, are those who are rejecting the stream as much as they feel rejected and it creates a cycle of pain.
Or it may be that they are wanting to build some psychic, emotional and physical muscles in order to live their dream.
I just saw the movie "Volcano.
" I dislike disaster movies as a rule, but Tommy Lee Jones was in it, and I just love him, so I watched.
It was a bad movie, no question.
But one little story line stuck out quite a bit for me.
There was this black fireman.
For some reason, he was not in uniform, and some yahoo-type cop got it in his head that this black guy was dangerous or trouble and needed to be arrested.
The cop was a jerk, not really aware of much else, but his prejudice.
The black guy tried to get through to the cop unsuccessfully, so finally, he just kind of surrendered to the experience of the cop trying to take him in.
Sure enough, some part of the crisis necessitated the cop un-handcuffing the black guy so that they could all help to facilitate a rescue.
The cop learned to hear and respect this black man.
Ultimately, the black man responded with such grace and beauty, compassion and understanding of the cop's paradigm, as they parted company, the cop and many around him were in awe of this black man's love in the face of such blind prejudice.
How Christlike! For those of us on the outside looking in.
We realize we don't really want to be absorbed by the pressure to conform all around us, and yet, to flow in the stream, it is important to understand the nature of the stream in order to use the momentum well.
When we fight it, we just get exhausted, but when we use it well, like Oprah, we can up-level consciousness all around us.
It is an interesting dance! The mistrust of the feminine lies not only in mens mistrust of the gifts of the feminine (as we, in the feminine want men to just be hairy women), but in truth, it has the most to do with biology.
The way we are built, when it comes to women and sex, men feel out of control.
They are visual, they see, they have the urge to procreate, and that urge can be so overwhelming at times that a man feels he is unable to manage which head is actually in the driver's seat.
And that is really scary for a guy who values his other masculine qualities of strength, logic over emotion..
etc.
From the time they are young, men are told they cannot control themselves (by other men).
So get what you can..
But not with MY daughter/woman! They are given no training, no real sense of direction, no way to learn how to manage their energy.
They are just told to conform when they can, and when they can't.
Then boys will be boys! We even see this in the priesthood of the Catholic Church.
My brother is a priest.
And I figured that when he received his training that they would give him some practices to manage his sexual energy -- NOT.
They just tell them to channel it into their work! No wonder so many priests are having difficulty with celibacy! So, ultimately, since they cannot control themselves, they see themselves at a disadvantage with women, who have had more permission and practice in experiencing their more emotional side.
Hence, they project their fear of their own emotions and urges being overtaken by such into a rejection of these uncontrollable feelings