A Divorce Does Not Define You
It is easy to be filled with feelings of failure, discouragement, even despair both while going though a divorce and immediately after.
So much changes so quickly; all things even in your daily life get turned upside down so quickly that the feelings of loss can be overwhelming for anyone.
Without solid divorce advice and divorce support, left on our own we can sometimes feel we are little more than a divorced person; as if marked for life with an affliction.
Divorce is a happening, an event, only part of ones life; it cannot define who you are.
You were someone prior to your marriage, and you will become, in time an even stronger individual after your divorce experience.
We learn from anything in life that we go through that is painful and difficult.
It is when we survive major life events that at the time seem so tragic that we gain insight into what we are really capable of handling; which only tells us how strong we've become.
So divorce does not define you, it is your sense of self worth that defines you, and how you feel about yourself.
It is natural to feel a great sense of failure from divorce.
It is a great loss, an end to a period in your life, and the reality that regardless of how much you invested personally in the marriage it is ended.
Grief and intense emotions are all part of the divorce process and that is why it is more important than at any other time in your life that your reach out for true divorce advice from others who have had the same life experience and moved on with their lives.
During a divorce and immediately following what one needs is true divorce support.
Do not confuse this with a "misery loves company" approach that is not supportive.
Hearing of others terrible experiences and how horrifying their ex, their attorney, their ex's attorney is not solid divorce advice, it's just ranting.
Avoid those who only want to recant their divorce experience and personal tragedies, and seek out those who have moved on with their lives after divorce.
These are the people who can empathize, while still offering true divorce support that is helpful.
Even if these individuals just are there to listen, and understandingly say: "I've been where you're at, and yes it's painful, but you will come out of this a better person".
While a marriage has ended, regardless if there are children involved or not; life after divorce is a new beginning.
A chance to start over; to take the divorce support genuine people are offering and re-evaluate what is truly important to you, and where you want to go from here.
By surrounding yourself with positive and truly sound and valuable divorce support you have the opportunity to look deep inside you to find what it is that really does define you.
Our careers, our parenting styles, our habits, and certainly not the opinions of others are what define who we are as an individual.
What does define us is locked away in an untouchable part of our inner soul and sometimes is closed off to even us.
It is through the hard work, love and support of those close to us and those we connect with that can objectively see that divorce is not who we are, but simply a stop point along the path we are walking.
You can change your path at anytime: begin to look inward, spend some more time with yourself and little by little re-discover who you really are.
With good divorce support you will get assistance, not judgment from others as to whom you are to them; how they see your handling of this temporary life situation.
It is important to step back and gain some distance from the event that you are involved in; and who you are deep within as a person.
It is perfectly normal to have forgotten who that person truly is and what defines us.
It is though self examination, and the assistance of those who are in a position to offer you solid, constructive, good divorce advice that you begin to be able to see that it is what's deep within that defines us, not what we are temporarily experiencing.
So much changes so quickly; all things even in your daily life get turned upside down so quickly that the feelings of loss can be overwhelming for anyone.
Without solid divorce advice and divorce support, left on our own we can sometimes feel we are little more than a divorced person; as if marked for life with an affliction.
Divorce is a happening, an event, only part of ones life; it cannot define who you are.
You were someone prior to your marriage, and you will become, in time an even stronger individual after your divorce experience.
We learn from anything in life that we go through that is painful and difficult.
It is when we survive major life events that at the time seem so tragic that we gain insight into what we are really capable of handling; which only tells us how strong we've become.
So divorce does not define you, it is your sense of self worth that defines you, and how you feel about yourself.
It is natural to feel a great sense of failure from divorce.
It is a great loss, an end to a period in your life, and the reality that regardless of how much you invested personally in the marriage it is ended.
Grief and intense emotions are all part of the divorce process and that is why it is more important than at any other time in your life that your reach out for true divorce advice from others who have had the same life experience and moved on with their lives.
During a divorce and immediately following what one needs is true divorce support.
Do not confuse this with a "misery loves company" approach that is not supportive.
Hearing of others terrible experiences and how horrifying their ex, their attorney, their ex's attorney is not solid divorce advice, it's just ranting.
Avoid those who only want to recant their divorce experience and personal tragedies, and seek out those who have moved on with their lives after divorce.
These are the people who can empathize, while still offering true divorce support that is helpful.
Even if these individuals just are there to listen, and understandingly say: "I've been where you're at, and yes it's painful, but you will come out of this a better person".
While a marriage has ended, regardless if there are children involved or not; life after divorce is a new beginning.
A chance to start over; to take the divorce support genuine people are offering and re-evaluate what is truly important to you, and where you want to go from here.
By surrounding yourself with positive and truly sound and valuable divorce support you have the opportunity to look deep inside you to find what it is that really does define you.
Our careers, our parenting styles, our habits, and certainly not the opinions of others are what define who we are as an individual.
What does define us is locked away in an untouchable part of our inner soul and sometimes is closed off to even us.
It is through the hard work, love and support of those close to us and those we connect with that can objectively see that divorce is not who we are, but simply a stop point along the path we are walking.
You can change your path at anytime: begin to look inward, spend some more time with yourself and little by little re-discover who you really are.
With good divorce support you will get assistance, not judgment from others as to whom you are to them; how they see your handling of this temporary life situation.
It is important to step back and gain some distance from the event that you are involved in; and who you are deep within as a person.
It is perfectly normal to have forgotten who that person truly is and what defines us.
It is though self examination, and the assistance of those who are in a position to offer you solid, constructive, good divorce advice that you begin to be able to see that it is what's deep within that defines us, not what we are temporarily experiencing.
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