Divorce Or Separation? Which One?
Divorce is a big decision.
It's not something you rush into or do out of utter frustration, exhaustion, or any feeling of hopelessness.
When you truly make the divorce decision AND it's the right decision to make, you feel a sense of peace, an inner knowing and trusting that this is the right step to take next.
If you don't feel confident in the choice, you may not be 100% ready to make it.
If you are wavering, it's time to take a look at all of your options.
Unhappy marriages occur for a variety of reasons.
What keeps people in them for so long are three things: 1) Hope that things will improve 2) Unwillingness to 'fail' or default on a lifelong commitment 3) Fear that the grass won't be greener on the other side All three of these reasons boil down to one central issue: deserving.
Knowing what you deserve (the best) and being willing to accept it now are key to making the divorce decision.
If you aren't sold on the fact that you deserve love, abundance, a fantastic relationship, joy, peace and all the good stuff that exists in AND out of great marriages, divorce is not going to solve that problem.
The work that needs to be done first is inner work and that's all you.
You may feel, however, that you can't do the necessary inner work on you while still being married to your spouse.
There may be behaviors, patterns and things going on between the two of you that seems to serve as an everyday stumbling block to you getting back to who you really are.
And that may be true.
However, until you get back to who you really are, until you can feel purposeful and passionate about your life, until you know that you know that you know that you deserve ALL the good things life has to offer AND believe you have every ability to secure it, you are not in the most powerful frame of mind with which to make a clear decision about divorce.
Yes it becomes a "who came first: chicken or the egg" conversation but you do have another option: separation.
You are entitled to take time away to rediscover yourself.
You have every right to ask for and get space.
It doesn't have to require one spouse moving out (although it helps).
It doesn't have to involve lawyers and legal fees.
What it does require is that you are willing to open yourself up to spending alone time with yourself so you can figure out what your best options are.
Remember: All the answers to all the questions you will ever ask are already within you.
Stop doubting yourself.
Be still...
and know...
It's not something you rush into or do out of utter frustration, exhaustion, or any feeling of hopelessness.
When you truly make the divorce decision AND it's the right decision to make, you feel a sense of peace, an inner knowing and trusting that this is the right step to take next.
If you don't feel confident in the choice, you may not be 100% ready to make it.
If you are wavering, it's time to take a look at all of your options.
Unhappy marriages occur for a variety of reasons.
What keeps people in them for so long are three things: 1) Hope that things will improve 2) Unwillingness to 'fail' or default on a lifelong commitment 3) Fear that the grass won't be greener on the other side All three of these reasons boil down to one central issue: deserving.
Knowing what you deserve (the best) and being willing to accept it now are key to making the divorce decision.
If you aren't sold on the fact that you deserve love, abundance, a fantastic relationship, joy, peace and all the good stuff that exists in AND out of great marriages, divorce is not going to solve that problem.
The work that needs to be done first is inner work and that's all you.
You may feel, however, that you can't do the necessary inner work on you while still being married to your spouse.
There may be behaviors, patterns and things going on between the two of you that seems to serve as an everyday stumbling block to you getting back to who you really are.
And that may be true.
However, until you get back to who you really are, until you can feel purposeful and passionate about your life, until you know that you know that you know that you deserve ALL the good things life has to offer AND believe you have every ability to secure it, you are not in the most powerful frame of mind with which to make a clear decision about divorce.
Yes it becomes a "who came first: chicken or the egg" conversation but you do have another option: separation.
You are entitled to take time away to rediscover yourself.
You have every right to ask for and get space.
It doesn't have to require one spouse moving out (although it helps).
It doesn't have to involve lawyers and legal fees.
What it does require is that you are willing to open yourself up to spending alone time with yourself so you can figure out what your best options are.
Remember: All the answers to all the questions you will ever ask are already within you.
Stop doubting yourself.
Be still...
and know...
Source...