BDSM is a lifestyle in which a person decides to be controlled by someone else. The person who controls is known as the dominant and the person who is controlled is known as the submissive. There are several roles that can be played in the world of BDSM. BDSM has been a controversial lifestyle, because it has people being controlled by others. If this is not done in a consensual way, it may lead to problems for both people.

The most important aspect in BDSM is that any and every activity carried out should be consensual, with both people understanding the repercussions of the activity, and the repercussions of anything going wrong during the activity. However, sometimes BDSM borders on abuse, simply because the person who controls, known as the dominant, does not have the maturity that is needed to control, or the person who is controlled, known as the submissive does not understand the difference between consensual activities and non consensual activities.

Here are some situations where BDSM gives way to abuse:

There are no safewords:

The safeword is one of the most important aspects in the world of BDSM. Basically, the safeword or phrase is a term that the submissive must utter whenever they think that the activity is going out of hand, or that they cannot handle it. Therefore, the safeword is the submissive's only defense against a situation that goes drastically wrong.

Along with a verbal safeword, the dominant and the submissive should also decide on a physical safeword, like a hand signal or two nods, so that the submissive can use the safeword even when they are not able to talk due to any reason.

The dominant tries to micromanage the submissive.

There are various subsects within the world of BDSM. For example, there is pony play; there is the Master slave lifestyle, etc. One important subsect within this lifestyle is total power exchange, also known as TPE. In TPE, the dominant has complete power over the submissive. However, this is a very intense type of lifestyle and not everyone is comfortable with following this.

Also, generally, people who follow BDSM tend to keep their personal lives different from their BDSM lives. For example, a dominant cannot tell their submissive not to go to work today, or even not to go pick up their mother from the airport. If the dominant tries to control the submissive in such a manner, it might be calculated as abuse.

The dominant wants the submissive to do anything illegal.

This is another sureshot example of a person in an abusive BDSM relationship. BDSM is all about consensual relationships and roleplay. There is no place in it for any kind of illegal activity. If a dominant asks, or even orders the submissive to do anything illegal, be it stealing from a mall or dig up a hole for a dead body, it is illegal and the submissive should walk out of the relationship the moment he or she finds out about it.