As seniors we naturally begin worrying about our eventual death and what will happen after you die.
Are you? Aging ourselves, we see our friends' health deteriorating, the number of pills we take each day increasing, and our participation in physical activities decreasing.
Our concern about the end of life becomes a frightening reality.
Are you fearful an illness or an unexpected stroke will lead to confinement to your home or a care facility? Does lack of mobility or complete bed care say to you, "the end is near?" Most of us have difficulty anticipating the decisions that family has to make after a loved one's death.
This article discusses the trauma of death, and the hundreds of details that have to be handled by someone.
Can you imagine dying unexpectedly? What will happen on your death? The emotional shock to family and friends will be terrible, of course.
And the confusion-what to do? However, unless you've made plans in advance, the problems created by your death are just beginning.
Someone has to be in charge; something has to be done with your body, and plans for your final ceremony made.
The disposal of your assets is a potential problem looming on the horizon.
Following are examples of the after-death decisions that must be made quickly: The first thing survivors should do is to check whether there are written after-death instructions.
If there has been some pre-planning, everyone will thank your memory...
many times.
Some official organization must be notified of the death.
Probably, a 911 call would do; tell the operator that someone has died and ask them to notify the appropriate legal officials.
If the deceased has left instructions about how they want their body handled, the next call would be to either a mortuary or a crematory to pick up the body.
Family members should be notified as quickly as possible.
The deceased' minister should be called and told of the death and asked to come to the home to comfort family and discuss final arrangements.
Close friends should be called.
There will be substantial expenses.
If an illness preceded death, final bills will be coming in and regular housing expenses are yet to be paid.
Burial expenses are just beginning.
There will be costs associated with the disposal of assets.
Families are often surprised about how much it costs to die! It is best to divide after-death activities into two parts: the first is a list of the topics like those above that must be handled quickly.
The second is a list of decisions that must be made regard¬ing the funeral or memorial service.
There are many details that make up each list, but by separating the activities, you can "divide and conquer.
" Following are a few examples of the second group of after-death decisions that must be made: Who will prepare the obituary? Will there be a funeral or a memorial service? How much money can be spent on the service? Casket or urn? Where will the service be held? Who will preside? Who will provide music? Who will deliver eulogies? What clothes will the deceased wear? And on and on..
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The trauma and anguish of a death is compounded by the requirement to make decisions at a time when family is most vulnerable.
Prepare lists giving instructions to your survivors.
Be sure to prepare a will.
Arrange for the disposition of your estate.
There are hundreds of decisions to be made.
Making as many of these decisions in advance of death is a major kindness.
Your death will be an event no one will ever forget.
Don't let the memory be one of confusion and doubt, these suggestions can significantly help those left behind.