I Licked A WHOLE Stuffed Crust Pizza and Fell On It
It's 100% true but that was when I was not so worldly. I was about 5 months old and teething like a mofo'ing mofo. It was driving me nuts and even though mum played with my dental ropes (they have something on the strips to help teething), I needed to do something naughty. Just because I was in the mood and my gums were acting up.
Supposedly puppy teeth fall out during 3-7 months over a period of time but because mum and I play really hard core with my toys, mine all flew out within 2 weeks. Just every day, there were flying teeth! Wanna know the insane part? Within 24 hours, my new tooth for each replacement was coming through. Amazing.
Now, my mum is obsessed with stuffed crust pizza. Not a typical 'I love pizza' etc but she truly believes stuffed crust pizza is one of the wonders of the world, one of the best inventions alongside dimmer switches, fax machines and pajamas. Pitiful yet true. Oh, and she has a soft spot for mittens-on-a-string, chocolate footballs and those infomercial drawer lights that stop you fumbling in the dark.
So, back to the story. We were living in LA and she ordered a pizza. It arrived and she put it on the kitchen table. She went to the bathroom for about 20 seconds which gave me just 1 second to jump on a chair to the table, 18 seconds to lick the whole pizza and 1 second to jump down in the nick of time.
The thing is, she came back in 18 seconds and screamed at me being knee deep in pizza. In shock, I fell on the whole pizza. Actually my chin fell on the pizza. It all happened really fast. I just hit the deck and froze.
She pried me off and pizza cheese was stuck to my chin and paws. She grabbed a toothbrush and scrubbed at my paws. I had tomato sauce right in between my front paw pads. My paws looked like they were bleeding tomato juice. My chin was a different matter. She could only cut the fur to the shortest point but there was still cheese stuck to it. So every day for 6 days, she'd grab the toothbrush and scrub my neck until it was raw. After day 3, my chin was going green and moldy and I stank. I just hadn't planned this right.
Day 7, we were finally back to normal again. My shaved fur grew and the stench on my paws went. Mum got another stuffed crust pizza to celebrate. I was really pissed at her. It was a direct hit at the prior incident and I don't believe ridiculing an innocent mistake is good for positive OMMMM yoga vibes.
She went through a whole packet of toothbrushes. For real. Word!
Supposedly puppy teeth fall out during 3-7 months over a period of time but because mum and I play really hard core with my toys, mine all flew out within 2 weeks. Just every day, there were flying teeth! Wanna know the insane part? Within 24 hours, my new tooth for each replacement was coming through. Amazing.
Now, my mum is obsessed with stuffed crust pizza. Not a typical 'I love pizza' etc but she truly believes stuffed crust pizza is one of the wonders of the world, one of the best inventions alongside dimmer switches, fax machines and pajamas. Pitiful yet true. Oh, and she has a soft spot for mittens-on-a-string, chocolate footballs and those infomercial drawer lights that stop you fumbling in the dark.
So, back to the story. We were living in LA and she ordered a pizza. It arrived and she put it on the kitchen table. She went to the bathroom for about 20 seconds which gave me just 1 second to jump on a chair to the table, 18 seconds to lick the whole pizza and 1 second to jump down in the nick of time.
The thing is, she came back in 18 seconds and screamed at me being knee deep in pizza. In shock, I fell on the whole pizza. Actually my chin fell on the pizza. It all happened really fast. I just hit the deck and froze.
She pried me off and pizza cheese was stuck to my chin and paws. She grabbed a toothbrush and scrubbed at my paws. I had tomato sauce right in between my front paw pads. My paws looked like they were bleeding tomato juice. My chin was a different matter. She could only cut the fur to the shortest point but there was still cheese stuck to it. So every day for 6 days, she'd grab the toothbrush and scrub my neck until it was raw. After day 3, my chin was going green and moldy and I stank. I just hadn't planned this right.
Day 7, we were finally back to normal again. My shaved fur grew and the stench on my paws went. Mum got another stuffed crust pizza to celebrate. I was really pissed at her. It was a direct hit at the prior incident and I don't believe ridiculing an innocent mistake is good for positive OMMMM yoga vibes.
She went through a whole packet of toothbrushes. For real. Word!
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