How to Discuss Depression With Your Child in Positive Way
Updated June 08, 2015.
Written or reviewed by a board-certified physician. See About.com's Medical Review Board.
Deciding to discuss depression with your child can feel like an intimidating task, but keeping discussions positive is not as hard as it sounds. While you don't want to make light of depression, keeping a positive and hopeful outlook will help support your child through recovery and avoid alarming her.
Emphasize That Depression is a Medical Condition
Depression is a medical condition like other illnesses.
Making familiar comparisons may alleviate some of the anxiety and stigma associated with the unknown.
Emphasize that, like other illnesses, your child can get better with treatment.
Do Not Assign Blame
Assure your child that she did not do anything to cause or deserve her depression. A depressed child may feel that she is somehow bad or deserves terrible things to happen to her. Assure her that depression is not a punishment.
As a concerned parent, avoid blaming yourself or telling your child that she is depressed because you did something wrong. This might cause your child to feel guilty or responsible for your pain.
Strength in Recovery
A common and incorrect myth of mental illness is that it is a personality weakness. Depression can affect anyone. Assure your child that she can be strong by accepting and complying with her treatment plan.
Emphasize the Future
A depressed child may have a hard time thinking positively about her future. Talk about the exciting things that she has to look forward to, and all of the supportive friends and family members that are there to help her succeed.
Remind her of some of the most exciting and fun experiences that she's had, and how there are many more to come.
Highlight Success Stories
Most adults know someone who has overcome depression, but your child may not. So, try to help her identify with a TV, movie, or book character who overcame depression or another mental illness and went on to succeed. Identifying and connecting with someone can help a child to not feel alone or different.
Highlight Treatment Plan
When talking about treatment, keep it optimistic rather than suggesting that treatment is a burden or a hassle. Also, emphasize that the reward of complying with her treatment plan is recovery and feeling better.
No matter what the selected treatment is, let her know that you are there to help her through it.
Tell Your Child How Much You Care
You may assume that your child knows how much you love and value her. However, a depressed child may feel lonely, misunderstood, or disliked. Reiterating how much she means to you can be especially meaningful to her.
Let your child know that everyone is rooting for her and that she is very much loved and supported.
Sources:
Feelings Need Check Ups Too. American Academy of Pediatrics. Accessed: October 04, 2010.
Communicating With Your Child. American Academy of Pediatrics. Accessed: 10/05/2010 http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/pages/Communicating-with-Your-Child.aspx
Stress in America: Talking With Your Children About Stress. American Psychological Association: Accessed: 10/04/2010. http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress-talking.pdf
Written or reviewed by a board-certified physician. See About.com's Medical Review Board.
Deciding to discuss depression with your child can feel like an intimidating task, but keeping discussions positive is not as hard as it sounds. While you don't want to make light of depression, keeping a positive and hopeful outlook will help support your child through recovery and avoid alarming her.
Emphasize That Depression is a Medical Condition
Depression is a medical condition like other illnesses.
Making familiar comparisons may alleviate some of the anxiety and stigma associated with the unknown.
Emphasize that, like other illnesses, your child can get better with treatment.
Do Not Assign Blame
Assure your child that she did not do anything to cause or deserve her depression. A depressed child may feel that she is somehow bad or deserves terrible things to happen to her. Assure her that depression is not a punishment.
As a concerned parent, avoid blaming yourself or telling your child that she is depressed because you did something wrong. This might cause your child to feel guilty or responsible for your pain.
Strength in Recovery
A common and incorrect myth of mental illness is that it is a personality weakness. Depression can affect anyone. Assure your child that she can be strong by accepting and complying with her treatment plan.
Emphasize the Future
A depressed child may have a hard time thinking positively about her future. Talk about the exciting things that she has to look forward to, and all of the supportive friends and family members that are there to help her succeed.
Remind her of some of the most exciting and fun experiences that she's had, and how there are many more to come.
Highlight Success Stories
Most adults know someone who has overcome depression, but your child may not. So, try to help her identify with a TV, movie, or book character who overcame depression or another mental illness and went on to succeed. Identifying and connecting with someone can help a child to not feel alone or different.
Highlight Treatment Plan
When talking about treatment, keep it optimistic rather than suggesting that treatment is a burden or a hassle. Also, emphasize that the reward of complying with her treatment plan is recovery and feeling better.
- If she is going to be in therapy, discuss how good it will feel to be able to openly talk about her feelings.
- If she will be on medication, talk about the documented successes of depression medications.
No matter what the selected treatment is, let her know that you are there to help her through it.
Tell Your Child How Much You Care
You may assume that your child knows how much you love and value her. However, a depressed child may feel lonely, misunderstood, or disliked. Reiterating how much she means to you can be especially meaningful to her.
Let your child know that everyone is rooting for her and that she is very much loved and supported.
Sources:
Feelings Need Check Ups Too. American Academy of Pediatrics. Accessed: October 04, 2010.
Communicating With Your Child. American Academy of Pediatrics. Accessed: 10/05/2010 http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/pages/Communicating-with-Your-Child.aspx
Stress in America: Talking With Your Children About Stress. American Psychological Association: Accessed: 10/04/2010. http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress-talking.pdf
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