I recently had a friend ask me some advice about emotional confusion.
She found herself in a bizarre and emotionally complicated situation, trying to resolve a dispute with an acquaintance.
While she was trying to open a dialogue, all she got was unreturned phone calls and weird, incoherent messages from the perpetrator.
How could she handle this? she wanted to know.
When human complication raises its head, leaving you struggling with how to govern yourself, it's best to first define your objectives before reacting.
What often generates confusion - pardon me for saying so - is unclear motivation.
When confronting emotionally complex situations, people often react off the cuff.
By spitting out discourse in an unstructured way, they try to obtain some sort of satisfaction without consciously knowing what they're after.
Result: a dog chasing it's tail.
The problem, really, lies in a confusion regarding motivation.
For example, do you want the problem to just go away? Do you want closure from the person? Do you have some sort of agenda you're driving? Do you want to end or to maintain a relationship with the person? At what intensity? Before taking action, you need to define your objectives.
This way you present a coherent picture to your interlocutor.
Because you present clarity, the other person will usually react with clarity.
Of course, there's no guarantee that you'll get exactly what you want, but at least you'll most likely receive a reaction you can interpret.
And that's the end of confusion isn't it?